Fourteen Dates- fanfic

“We should get back to the room.”

“Okay.” She rose from her chair. “So what is Kawahana known for? Why did you choose this place?”

Kakashi smiled and said again, “You’ll see.”

They’d only just entered their suite when there was a knock on the door. Sakura answered it to see a tiny, tremendously wrinkled woman smiling at her. She smiled with a wide grin, showing off the full set of even, white teeth she miraculously still had and said, “Ohayo gozaimasu. I am Yuka, and I’m here for kitsuke.”

“Come in, Yuka-san,” said Kakashi from over Sakura’s shoulder. “We’ve been expecting you.”

“Kitsuke?”

The small woman entered pulling a two-wheeled wire shopping cart filled to overflowing with the tools and materials of her trade. “Sir,” she said imperiously to Kakashi, “You will leave us alone for the next hour and a half, until the young lady is ready. Understood?”

“Yes, obaasan. Luckily, I have plenty to do.” He tapped the cover of Icha, Icha Takutikusu and settled on a zabuton to read. “You won’t even know I’m here.”

“So, dearie. Where is your kimono?”

“Kimono?” Sakura stared at the woman with a puzzled expression on her face.

“Try your room, Sakura.” Kakashi did not look up from his book, which hid the smile on his face.

“Oh. Oh!” she cried as she entered the bedroom and saw the garment hanging there.

It was beautiful, simply beautiful. It was not an informal yukata, the only type of kimono Sakura had ever worn, the type she’d learned to wear during special kunoichi classes on women’s arts. This was a more formal garment. It did not have the extremely long sleeves that would designate it as a furisode or the several crests at the shoulders, front and back that would define its appropriateness for weddings or similar events, but it was nonetheless breathtaking.

The kimono’s background was Sakura’s favorite color, an intense, deep red. Against this damask-patterned rinzu fabric were scattered several flying doves. At the hem of the garment was a hawk which rested against pine and sakura branches. The images had been hand-painted using yuzen techniques, and showed a fine level of detail. Small pine cones, and the stamens of the sakura blossoms had been detailed with surihaku. The sleeves were longer than those that would appear on a yukata, and were open at the base of the armhole. Sakura ran her hands over the garment, which opened slightly to show the juban underneath. It was also red, and made of a thin, fine silk fabric, and covered with tiny shibori dots in a undulating, wave-like pattern. Its attached collar was white and embroidered elaborately with a dove motif in white silk.

“That is a rare and elegant houmongi, the perfect choice for you,” the dresser Yuka said approvingly, as she unpacked her cart. “If you are going to wear makeup, now is the time to apply it. And remove any jewelry, please.”

“I usually don’t wear much. Just mascara and lip gloss, and I’ve already put them on. And I don’t wear jewelry.”

Yuka nodded. “You really don’t need makeup. You have beautiful skin, dearie.” She pulled out a small step-stool and beckoned to Sakura as she set out towels, string and other items. “I understand that you do not have the necessary komono, so we will use what I have brought.”

“Komono?”

“The many items that are worn under kimono.” The elderly lady clucked at Sakura’s ignorance. “Women today do not understand the subtle beauty of our traditional dress.” She handed Sakura a plain white garment. “You will need to put this on. Strip down and let’s get started.” She handed Sakura three undergarments.

Sakura unfolded the garments and inspected them, not sure of the order in which to dress. She removed her green wool dress, unfolded the hadajuban and began to put it on over her bra.

The woman clucked again, and folded her arms across her chest. “No, no. That will ruin the line. You must take off all clothing except your panties. And put on these.” She passed a pair of white tabi to the kunoichi.

Sakura blushed, but did as requested, quickly slipping into the fine, white cotton undershirt and split-toed socks Yuka had provided. “Susoyoke next.” The woman pointed to the long half slip. “Then the nagajuban.” Sakura put on these articles of clothing, leaving the plain white kimono open. The woman tied the nagajuban shut with a date-jime, then pulled the step stool up and tugged firmly on the under kimono, precisely lining up the collar and measuring the fall of the garment with a string. She stepped down and stood back to survey Sakura’s figure.

“We will not need to bind your breasts, but there is a big difference between the size of your waist and your hips.”

What a very nice way to tell me I’m flat chested and have a big butt. Sakura sighed.

Yuka grabbed one of the towels she had set on the futon and wrapped it snugly around Sakura’s waist, then did the same with a second, thinner cloth. She secured both with another date-jime.

“Why can’t I have a waist?”

“The ideal figure for a kimono is a perfect cylinder. Breasts and hips should not be apparent.”

“How will I bend with all this padding around me?”

“Carefully.” Yuka laughed softly. “In kimono, a woman’s movements are forced to be small and ladylike.”

“I can’t imagine wearing this every day.”

“Yes, but today you will look very beautiful for your lover.” The elderly woman winked at her.

My lover?! Is she leering? She really should meet up with Jiraiya. They seem to have a similar worldview.

“Now for the juban.” Yuka removed the basting stitches that kept the sleeves and collar of the garment from wrinkling, then removed the juban from the kimono stand, being careful not to dislodge the long obi which hung under it. Sakura slipped into the thin silk garment.

"I had no idea dressing in kimono was such an involved process."

"Beauty comes through hard work. Would you not agree?" Yura once again fussed with the kimono's neckline, overlapping it perfectly with the nagajuban, then smoothing it out over Sakura’s torso. She tied a soft fabric sash at Sakura’s waist, then pulled up on the juban so that the garment fell just above Sakura’s ankles, with the excess fabric falling smoothly over the waistband. Yura unstitched the basting stitches on the houmongi and passed it to Sakura. The dresser took her time arranging the garment so that the neckline fell gracefully at Sakura’s nape, and measuring carefully, so that a modest amount of flesh showed where the garment overlapped in front. She secured the waistband with a koshi-himo, pulling the fabric as she’d done for the juban so that the excess fabric fell hung evenly over the waistband. She then secured this layer of fabric with a second koshi-himo so that a small, even amount of fabric was exposed below the sash.

“Now for the obi. Do you have a preference for the way it is tied?”

Sakura shook her head. She would have said, "So I can breathe," but thought the elderly woman might not appreciate her sense of humor.

“Then fukura suzume, I think.” Yura tied yet another band around Sakura’s waist. She then removed an obi embroidered with pine branches and cherry blossoms from the kimono stand. She draped the 4-meter long strip of brocade fabric unevenly over Sakura’s shoulder and wrapped the long end around her waist, tucking in the ends of the sash in as she did so. She temporarily draped the remaining fabric over Sakura’s shoulder and tied a silk crepe sash around the portion of the obi that now encircled Sakura’s waist, tying the ends of the sash loosely in front. She slipped a small pillow where the obi-age touched Sakura’s back, and tightened the sash. “This will help to give the obi shape,” she explained. She then finished wrapping and tying the obi into the sparrow shape she’d mentioned. As a final touch, she secured the obi with a black and silver obi-jime, then stood back to criticize her work.

“Your hair is too short to put up,” she said after a long silence, “but at least it is short enough to show off your nape. That will be most attractive to your man. This kimono suits you, I think. I humbly hope that I have met your expectations.”

“I don’t think I can bend over,” Sakura said, but smiled at the dresser and did her best to bow her thanks. “I don’t think I would have the patience to do your job. You must be a perfectionist. Thank you for spending so much time on this.”

Yuka bowed again. “It is truly my pleasure. Where are your zouri?”

Sakura frowned. “I only have one pair and unfortunately they are at my home. I wasn’t expecting to dress in this way. This is a total surprise.”

“No, Sakura, they’re right here.” Kakashi slid open the fusuma and handed Sakura her sandals. They were new, with red silk straps that matched the color of the houmongi perfectly. “You look stunning.” What was that look in his eyes?

Sakura could not help but stare at Kakashi as the dresser gathered her supplies and hurriedly left. Traditional attire suited him. His kimono was a loden-green color, which set off his pale skin and darkened hair. But it would have looked just as striking with his normal silver color, Sakura knew. He was devastatingly handsome. The kimono was simple, quite plain apart from the tortoiseshell patterning of its weave. A silver kaku-obi was tied simply at his waist. He wore plain black zouri over the traditional dark blue tabi.

“Shall we?” Kakashi asked, meeting Sakura’s gaze as it shifted to his face.

“Y-y-yes.” She felt like Hinata, at a complete loss for words. She followed Kakashi to the sitting room, where he picked up his haori. She noticed the lining was woven in a pattern she’d seen before. Small komon of the five-part chidori were scattered across the cloth. Sakura pointed to the repeating pattern.

“Is this your family crest?” Well, obviously, Sakura. Any other stupid questions to ask?

“Mmm-hmm. This is the symbol of the Hatake clan.”

“Funny how it suits you perfectly.”

“There haven’t been too many examples of serendipity in my life, but you’re right, Sakura. It does.” He smiled.

“There are kunai hidden in the crest. Does your family have a history of service as shinobi?”

“My father was the first, and this komon predates him by at least seven generations. I’d never noticed the kunai. But they were originally a gardening tool. And my ancestors were farmers, as you might guess from the name. So maybe it was intentional.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen a kimono this beautiful.” She held out her arms to inspect the rich fabric.

“It was my mother’s.” His voice was soft. “Not that I ever saw her wear it. It wouldn’t have been appropriate for her to wear a kimono like that as a married woman. I can only guess that she looked as beautiful as you.” There was that look again-- a certain softness in his eye. “Have you seen how you look? I don’t think there’s a full length mirror in your room.” He led her to the bathroom, and stood beside her as she took in her reflection.

We look so nice together. Sakura turned and hugged her former teacher.

“You’ve gone to so much trouble, Kakashi. I don’t think anyone has ever done anything so thoughtful for me. I–“ She barely stopped herself from crying.

“If they hadn’t, they should have.”

She took a deep breath and composed herself. “So where are we going?”

“You’ll see. Patience is a virtue.” He entered his room and picked up a blanket he’d removed from his bedroll.

“So is tenacity.”

“You’ve got that in spades.”

“And you’ve got the patience, I guess.”

They left the room, zouri in hand. At the entrance, the concierge approached, carrying a hamper.

“Perfect,” said Kakashi. He paused to put on his zouri, then took the basket from the elderly man he’d met the night before. “Are you feeling any better than this morning, Sakura?”

She nodded as they strolled out into the bright sunlight.

...o...o...o...o...

“O-Hanami? I thought sakura-viewing season was over.”

“That’s why we’re so far north. Kawahana is famous for its festival. I figured you would know all about it.”

Sakura laughed as she looked at the many trees in full blossom that surrounded them. There must be thousands. Pale pink-covered sakura trees stretched for as far as the eye could see. Though it was only noon, the riverside park was already crowded, but Kakashi soon found a suitable location for them to sit and enjoy the spectacle of falling petals and the revelry of festival goers. Most were dressed traditionally, Sakura noticed. This was quite different from Hanami as celebrated in Konoha. Casual attire was the order of the day there. The drunkenness was the same in both places, though.

“I’m not sure that I can sit, Kakashi. You wouldn’t believe what I have on under here.” She blushed as she realized how suggestive her statement had been.

Kakashi smiled wickedly, but for once he passed on making the obvious rejoinder. “Let me help you,” he said as he extended an arm and helped her to kneel. “You’ve never worn this type of kimono before? I would have thought you’d done so for seijin shiki.”

“My parents were gone by then, and I didn’t see the point. I bought the apartment instead.”

“Hmm.” Kakashi wished he hadn’t spoken for a moment, but noticed that Sakura’s mood had not darkened at the mention of her late parents and tainted apartment. She seemed as happy as earlier.

“I don’t know how a kunoichi could function in clothing like this. I can take only baby steps.”

“Well, in the past, I think kunoichi skills were a bit more limited than they are today.”

“Oh.” Her color deepened. “You mean they were simply seductresses.”

“What do you mean, ‘simply’? That’s a critical role. Think of the information they were able to bring back to their villages. There's no fool like a man in love, after all. But times change. I much prefer the kunoichi's role now. Hungry?” He opened the hamper and pulled out plates, hashi and assorted foods. The kitchen staff had packed two large bottles of sake. They must have lots of experience at this, he thought. He looked around. Their neighbors were already well on their way to inebriation.

“I’m starved!’ Sakura picked up an onigiri and ate it quickly. “I probably should be more ladylike when I eat, but I can’t help it.”

“No one would mistake you for a buta, Sakura.”

“Not dressed like this, I guess.”

They settled down to the task of eating their lunch.

...o...o...o...o...

“So have you ever done Karaoke?”

Sakura finished her cup of sake before she spoke. She usually didn’t drink, but today it had felt appropriate, as at the time of her decision it seemed highly probable that she and Kakashi were the only people in the park who were still sober. “Are you kidding? There’s no chance in hell that I’d stand up,” she gestured to the small stage where very drunken festival-goer had taken the mike, “and subject myself to that kind of humiliation.” She turned to him. “Have you?”

“No. Gai has challenged me several times, though. I was almost drunk enough one time to say yes. Almost.”

“Bet you’d sound a lot better than him.” She pointed to the drunk on the stage. “Even his friends are covering their ears.”

“I’m not sure how much more of this I can handle. Want to take a walk?”

“If you’ll help me up.”

“Can’t handle your drink?”

“No. Just can’t walk in this outfit. Don’t you feel a draft, Kakashi? I was sure the dresser was going to make me take off my panties.” Her face turned a color very close to that of her kimono. “I can’t believe I just said that.”

“Like I said, can’t handle your drink.” Kakashi laughed as he took her arm and led her down a more part of the park.

“Unlike you.”

He chuckled again. “I think you should drink more often. It’s very amusing.”

“Anything to make you happy, Kakashi.” She rolled her eyes.

He squeezed her arm and led her to an unoccupied park bench. She leaned comfortably against him for a while, happy to be in his presence. She’d never felt so relaxed around another person. Kakashi didn’t require her to be cheery, or clever, or any of the things she’d tried so hard to become as a teenager. He was happy with who she was, just as she was.

“Thank you for this, Kakashi. I can’t think of a day that’s been happier.”

“Mission accomplished, then.” He put his arm around her and kissed the crown of her head.

The revelers camped along this pathway were mostly couples, still drunk, of course, but more subdued than those closer to the Karaoke stage. They actually seemed to be appreciating the ephemeral blossoms. And each other. Sakura noticed the tender, tentative caresses of some, and the more passionate embraces of other couples, and the single focus each had on his or her lover.

Kakashi noticed the wistful look in her eyes and the sudden sadness that played across her beautiful features.

“Kakashi,” she said softly, “have you ever been in love?”

He was silent for a minute. He hadn’t anticipated her question. He’d thought he was in control of things– he’d planned today and the rest of their vacation to the smallest detail, after all, but now he didn’t know what to say.

“Yes,” he said finally. She deserved the truth.

“Will you tell me about her?”

“What would you like to know?”

“Why did you love her? How did you know you were in love?”

“Why did I love her?” He spoke slowly as he tried to think objectively. “Let’s see. She was... smart as a whip, kind and generous to a fault, but a bit prickly. Completely industrious, a perfectionist, the type of person who trusted completely once she bestowed her trust, and the type of person who deserved your trust. She put her whole self into every thing she did. She committed fully and completely to the things she cared about. She was passionate, in every sense of the word. Hot tempered, but also so very loving. Not the type of person to hold back.”

“Wow. She sounds special.” Was he talking about Rin? What other women had he had in his life?

“Yes. Definitely.”

“And how did you know you were in love?”

“It crept up on me. We were friends first, and slowly I began to see her differently. I knew all of those things about her already, and I already loved her because of them, but slowly, things changed until suddenly I saw that I was incomplete without her.”

“So why aren’t you with her?” Sakura almost didn’t ask the question. It seemed so personal, but he was her friend, wasn’t he? Friends should be able to talk like this.

“I was scared. And stupid.”

“Oh. Did you ever tell her how you felt?”

“No. That’s the stupid part. That and the running away.”

“That’s horrible, Kakashi. She probably felt the same way as you. How could she not?” He seems to have made running away a habit.

Kakashi looked in her eyes and smiled. “How about you, Sakura?”

“Well, I thought I was in love once. But we both know how that turned out. I realized I really had no clue what love is. I know it’s not just that crushy feeling of infatuation that I felt as a teenager, it’s something much deeper.” She was quiet for a while, then continued. “I guess I got scared, too, after that. Losing people hurts. I know you know that. Of all people. But I didn’t want to feel that loss again. Each time it happened it was as though I lost a part of myself. I haven’t wanted to be in love, and risk falling out of love or having it end for whatever reason, so I’ve never put myself in a position where it might happen.” She leaned back against the bench and closed her eyes.

“Nothing ventured, nothing lost.”

“Right. I think this is where you say, ‘Carpe diem.’”

“Are we trading cliches, Sakura?”

“Apparently.” Suddenly, she wasn’t feeling very well. She lifted her hand to her brow and felt beads of perspiration. Strange, as the afternoon was somewhat cool.

“So do you still feel that way?”

“What way?” Her clothes were so restrictive. And warm.

“Scared.”

“A little. How about you?”

“No. Sakura.” He turned to face her and took her hand in his. “Do you–“

He didn’t notice that Sakura had turned an alarming shade of near-green. She jumped up, which was quite difficult to accomplish, given her clothing, and scurried as quickly as she could (which really was not quickly at all) toward a trash can. Then she was quite ill.

Glossary: all you never wanted to know about kimono...

fusuma- traditional sliding door found in tatami rooms

yogi- a kimono-shaped quilt used on futons

kitsuke- the art of dressing in a kimono.

furisode- this is the most formal kimono an unmarried woman can own. They generally have long, swinging sleeves and are decorated in flowing patterns against a rich or pastel color. Occasionally they have 3 or 5 crests ( at the center top back, back shoulders and front shoulders) that indicate increasing levels of formality.

rinzu- an elegant, heavier silk fabric used in some kimono.

yuzen- a type of kimono decoration in which a paste of rice flour is applied to the garment before it is dyed, so that certain areas remain white. These areas may then be painted by hand, or using stencils. Yuzen dying can be very simple or extremely detailed. The kimono I am describing (a real one, which unfortunately I don’t own, although I do own some nice ones) is extremely detailed.

surikaku- gold or silver leafing applied to a kimono.

juban- a decorated underkimono made of thinner fabric (fine silk or cotton) that is layered under the outermost kimono, so that its collar is partly visible.

shibori- a japanese tie-dying technique that is very different from the technicolor western technique many of us are familiar with. In shibori, the fabric is wrapped many times with string to form thousands of tiny white dots against a solid (or subdued) background. Usually the fabric is kept unwashed so that the texture remains after the binding threads are removed. This fabric requires ridiculous amounts of effort to make, and in my opinion is incredibly beautiful.

houmongi- a less formal, but still very elegant kimono that is worn by unmarried women to tea ceremonies, when attending weddings as a guest (not in the wedding party) and to certain festivals. Its informality is shown by its shorter sleeves and absence of crests, or komon. The pattern covering it tends to flow along the length of the kimono, over shoulders and around the sides. Even less formal kimono will have an all-over, repeated pattern or no pattern at all.

tabi- split toed socks worn with kimono such as houmongi

nagajuban- A plain under kimono that lies next to the skin. It is a plain white cotton kimono that protects the more expensive decorated layers from sweat and body oils.

date-jime. A sash that secures the nagajuban

koshi-himo- a sash that is tied at the waist and hips to shorten the length of the kimono (generally a one size fits all garment).

obi-ite a flat stiff band that is used to hold the kimono shut and provide a firm base for the obi.

obi-age- a strip of stretchy cloth that secures the makura at the back waist

makura- a small pillow that is used to give the obi shape

obi- the highly decorated cloths that serve as the outer belt of the kimono. They are often made of gold or silver brocade, or decorated with a type of metallic embroidery known as shusu and is wrapped and folded into an elaborate bustle or other shape at the back of the garment.

obijime- an intricate multistranded braid (the craft of making these braids is called kumihimo) of silk threads used to secure the obi.

fukura suzume- a style of wearing an obi in which the back is tied to resemble a plump sparrow with outspread wings.

zouri- flat sandal worn with kimono styles other than yukata. Very similar to flip flops, but usually made of laquered wood with brocade straps.

kaku-obi- a men’s obi, worn with kimono more formal than yukata

haori- a shorter, partial kimono worn as an outer garment that adds formality to the kimono.

buta- pig

seijin shiki - Coming of age day. It is celebrated on January 15th in the year after turning twenty. A woman’s parents will often purchase an elaborate kimono (such as a furisode) for this event, and spend a great deal of money to do so. It is inappropriate to wear this kimono after a woman marries, as formal kimono for married women (kuro-tomesode or iro-tomesode) are much more subdued and feature restricted patterning (along the hem of the garment).

Chapter 24–Illness

“Are you okay?” Kakashi was at Sakura’s side immediately.

“Could you get me some water?” She tightly gripped the lamp pole standing next to the trash can. The garbage receptacle was far too dirty to touch. Kakashi did not move from her side. His concern was evidenced in the set of his mouth and the look in his eyes. “Please.” Kakashi disappeared immediately, and Sakura sighed in relief. There was nothing worse than somewhat watching you vomit, Sakura thought to herself. At least she hadn’t ruined the kimono. That would have been completely humiliating, considering that it had belonged to Kakashi’s mother. But she’d certainly ruined the afternoon.

She felt hot, and she was definitely nauseated.

What’s wrong? Food poisoning?

But Kakashi seemed to be feeling fine, and their diet had essentially been the same for the past day. Thankfully, the other key symptom of that illness was missing. It would be completely unbearable to be sharing a suite while bound to the bathroom with intestinal distress. It couldn’t be food poisoning, Sakura realized. It generally didn’t take too long to show itself– usually only hours. She’d already felt nauseated this morning, and freeze-dried ramen cooked with boiling water should be safe. Sakura gagged at the thought of last night’s dinner and was violently ill again, until finally nothing was left to expel except bile. She felt festival-goers’ eyes on her. They probably thought she was drunk. She certainly wouldn’t be the only person in the park to throw up today, but she was probably the first. It was still too early in the day for alcohol-induced sickness. Or maybe not, she thought as she noticed two passed-out men under a nearby tree. They’d probably started drinking when the sun came up.

She felt Kakashi’s chakra nearby and turned as he proffered a bottle of water and paper towel. She rinsed her mouth and used the rest of the water to dampen the paper towel so that she could clean and cool her face.

“Are you okay to walk? The hotel is a distance. I could rent a rickshaw–“

“I think I’m done throwing up. We can walk. I’m really sorry about this, Kakashi.”

“You know, I was joking about you not being able to hold your drink, Sakura. Has this happened before?”

Sakura looked at him sharply. His feeble attempt at a joke was lost on her. “I’m not drunk, Kakashi. Do I need to prove it to you?”

Kakashi smiled as he took her arm and led her down the path. “I know. Usually you like my jokes. I’ll come back for our stuff later. Let’s get you home.”

...o...o...o...o...

Sakura insisted on drinking a glass of water when they returned to the ryokan, but couldn’t keep it down. At that point she agreed that perhaps she was a bit more sick than she’d assumed. She even allowed him to help her undress. Well, the first few layers, at least. He laughed when he saw the towel tied around her waist and she promptly banished him. She probably would have thrown him out at that point anyway– the girl did cherish her modesty. It had been amusing, though, unwrapping her like a present covered in many layers of tissue paper, despite the fact that she was feeling unwell. Even miserable she was attractive.

Sakura invited Kakashi back into her room only after she’d put on a cotton nightshirt, one that was no where near as invitingly cut as the one she’d woken in.

“Do you have any idea what’s wrong?” Kakashi asked. He hated sickness almost as much as he hated hospitals. It wasn’t the germs, though, or the smells that made sickness unbearable. It was the feeling of total uselessness. There wasn’t much he could do to help her.

“I don’t know. I need to take my temperature.” She opened the closet to retrieve her pack, then rummaged through her medic’s vest. She removed a glass thermometer from its hard, unbreakable plastic case, shook the instrument down and stuck it under her tongue. Kakashi pulled back her futonji and helped her into bed.

She spoke some minutes later. “39.4 degrees. That’s strange. I shouldn’t have that much of a fever if it’s food poisoning.”

“How would you have gotten food poisoning?”

“No idea. If I do have it, you should, too– we’ve been eating the same thing. Maybe it’s a stomach bug– but I don’t have all the symptoms for that. And who would I have caught it from? And the fever is too high. Oh, well. I guess it doesn’t matter. I’m sure I’ll be fine by tomorrow. I usually don’t stay sick for long.”

“Do you have any fever reducers with you?”

“I think I might have a little bit of willow bark left.”

“I’ll get some boiling water from the kitchen.” At last, something he could do to make himself useful.

“Could you get some ice chips, too?”

“Hai.”

Where’s the willow bark? Sakura asked herself as she rummaged through her medic’s vest. The vial was empty. Great. Why hadn’t she thought to check her supplies before they’d left on this trip?

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Some medic-nin you are, Sakura.

Kakashi returned bearing a tray containing a vacuum flask, two teacups, a glass, a bucket of crushed ice, and several porcelain spoons. He set the tray on the floor by her bed and knelt next to the feverish kunoichi.

“Willow bark?”

Sakura looked at him sheepishly. “All out.”

Kakashi smirked, then rose and walked to the bathroom, raising his voice so that he could be heard. “I’ll go get you some. We passed an apothecary on the way back here. Is there anything else I can get you?” He returned with a tall stack of towels and the bathroom’s plastic-lined trash can. He placed the trash can at the head of Sakura’s bed, and then arranged the towels into a path, of sorts, from her bed to the bathroom across the hall.

“Gee, thanks, Mom. You’re the best.” She frowned. “This is so embarrassing.”

“It’s embarrassing to be sick?”

“No. It’s embarrassing to be weak. And I’ve ruined things, haven’t I?” She looked ready to cry.

“No, Sakura, you haven’t. Will you be okay by yourself for a little while?”

“I’m going to sleep. My head is really beginning to hurt.”

“Are you sore? Do you think its flu?”

“Only children vomit when they have the flu. You’re thinking of stomach flu, which is totally different. Stomach flu is the stomach bug I was talking about. I’d have cramps and diarrhea. And the fever wouldn’t be so high. Damn, my head hurts.” Mini-lecture complete, she closed her eyes and Kakashi took that as his cue to exit. She should probably add “irritable” to her list of symptoms, he thought.

Kakashi quickly changed into clothes more appropriate for moving efficiently and set off towards the town. The apothecary was not far away, but Kakashi took advantage of the fact that Sakura was sleeping to travel a bit further to retrieve the blanket and hamper from the riverside park. The sake had disappeared during their absence, he noticed, but everything else was intact. Apparently the park’s revelers were more thirsty than hungry.

The herbalist on duty at the apothecary was extremely helpful, suggesting a tea of gingerroot and kuzu to help with the nausea. And delightfully enough, there was a video store right next door to the apothecary. Kakashi sauntered in, greeted the shopkeeper and asked if he had any Icha, Icha movies in stock.

“All of them. Of course,” the owner had said with a wink.

“Oh, so you’ve seen them? You know, they were filmed in Suna. Hard to believe, isn’t it? They made it look just like Fire Country.”

“Yes, their weather is so different from ours. It probably cost a small fortune to make it look so green and fertile.”

The shopkeeper reached under the counter and pulled out all five Icha, Icha DVDs. “I can tell you’re a man of discretion. Are you interested in the Suna versions?” he asked conspiratorily.

Kakashi smiled. Suna’s censorship laws were more lax than the archaic laws of Fire Country. That was why Jiraiya’s production company filmed there. The copy ninja handed a small stack of notes to the shopkeeper and walked off with a small stack of discs (discretely wrapped in brown paper) and a smile on his face. Although he’d seen each Icha, Icha movie a minimum of twenty times, they’d been somewhat frustrating to watch in Konoha. All the good parts were either edited out or blurred. But what luck that their suite had televisions– and flat screens at that. Sakura’s sudden illness would have a silver lining, at least.

Kakashi hurried back to the ryokan and into Sakura’s darkened room. She’d closed the blinds, and had her head hidden under the futonji, as she’d done this morning. Kakashi quickly made her a tisane of willow-bark, then added some ice to it, to cool it down. The herbalist had told him cool liquids were tolerated better than warm in cases of nausea.

“Sakura?” She didn’t hear him. Kakashi leaned in to shake her gently, taking ahold of one of her hands as he did so. It was ice cold. She’d been so warm only thirty minutes earlier. He laid his hand against her forehead. It was burning up. “Sakura!” Her eyes opened slowly and she blinked several times.

“You’re back already? My head hurts.”

“Drink slowly, but drink it all.”

“Yes, Dr. Hatake.” She sat up and did as he asked, then settled back against the pillows and sighed. “I don’t think I deserve you as a friend.”

“Funny. That’s what I usually think about you.”

“Really?” She smiled as she closed her eyes. She was quickly asleep.

Sakura might be annoyed if she woke to see Kakashi enjoying the frolicking women of Icha, Icha Paradise on the flat screen TV in her room. On the other hand, she didn’t seem to mind his constant reading as much as she had years ago, and he really thought he should keep an eye on her. Kakashi grabbed some pillows from his bed, some rice crackers from his pack, and settled next to the sleeping Sakura after loading the first disc and grabbing the remote. What a wonderful technology. The televisions at headquarters used dials to change the channel and recorded using bulky tapes. There were no remote controls. This was so much more civilized.

The Suna version of the movie really was much better, Kakashi thought as the film began. The entire first scene had been removed from the edited version, and it disrupted the story line completely. It really didn’t make much sense for Arashi Junko to be surrounded by women without knowing that he had stumbled upon a nomadic caravan and had been enticed inside the harem. And my, how he had been enticed. Jiraiya’s first book had been a masterpiece, and the movie– this version, anyway– had stayed true to the master’s vision. The women, of course, all had Tsunade’s figure, but Jiraiya or his director must have decided that a host of Tsunade look-alikes (from the neck up, at least) would be disconcerting to the audience, or hard to follow. Or perhaps Jiraiya had been afraid of the possible consequences of showing the face of his unrequited love on the silver screen. Despite this small change from the total perfection of the book, this movie version was wonderful, and was over too soon. He’d really need to get a TV and DVD player. It would probably cost him six months’ salary (these were Snow Country imports, he saw), but it would be well worth the expense.

Kakashi stretched and looked over at Sakura. The herbalist had specified that Sakura should take the willow-bark preparation every two hours, and the other remedy every four. He should wake her. She really didn’t look much better, he thought, pulling back the futonji, which must be much too warm, given her fever. Her hair was sweaty. Kakashi pushed several damp strands away from her face, feeling her forehead as he did so. She seemed worse.

“Sakura. Wake up.” He shook her gently until she roused. “I need to take your temperature again. Open up.” He placed the glass rod under her tongue and prepared her medications.

“How do you feel?”

“Huh?” She removed the thermometer, and tried for a moment to focus on it. “Too sleepy.” She rolled onto her side.

Kakashi read the thermometer and quickly left the room. 40.5 degrees. The willow bark didn’t seem to be doing much. He grabbed a washcloth and returned to her side, laying the cloth over her forehead.

“Sakura?” Kakashi’s voice was gentle. “I need you to drink the tea I’ve made you. Come on. Sit up.”

“Don’t be so loud. I told you I have a headache.” She took the beverage from him and sipped it slowly.

“You should drink this one, too.” He handed her the tisane of gingerroot and kuzu.

“This tastes even worse than the willow bark. Blech.” She finished the tisane and lay back down. Kakashi replaced the damp cloth on her forehead.

“Sakura. Your temperature is 40.5. Is that a problem?”

She seemed a little more alert now. “That’s not so good. Wake me in half an hour and we can check it again.” She closed her eyes and Kakashi lay down next to her. He shouldn’t watch another movie– not until Sakura was doing a little better. He’d gotten totally immersed in the first when he should have been checking Sakura frequently. It was why he was in her room, after all. Kakashi picked up his book instead and decided to limit himself to reading one chapter, just once. He wouldn’t read and reread the juicy parts as he normally did.

He was quickly interrupted, though by Sakura, who bolted upright in bed and emptied the contents of her stomach into the trash can.

This is getting worrisome, thought Kakashi. She’d never get her fever down if the vomiting continued. And she needed fluids or she’d become dehydrated. He looked at Sakura and noticed she had barely woken up. She seemed slightly dazed and her eyes were not quite focused.

Kakashi ran to the bathroom and began to fill the tub, then ran back and scooped up Sakura in his arms. She didn’t complain or seem the slightest bit embarrassed as he quickly removed her night clothes and set her, naked, into the bath. The water was tepid, slightly lower than normal temperature, and should help, if Kakashi was correctly remembering his first aid. She seemed listless, not quite awake but not quite asleep. He kept her there for a half-hour, and did his best to cool her off, occasionally pouring water over her hair and running a washcloth over her face. The rest of his time he spent silently regarding the woman he loved.

When she’d left the park bench this afternoon, Kakashi had thought, for a moment, that Sakura was rejecting him, that she’d guessed what he was about to say and had decided to intercede before the words left his mouth. He’d been shocked and disappointed for that moment. He hadn’t expected things to go that way. He’d thought that she would blush when he asked her if she thought they might try being together, and that she’d look at him with shining eyes when he explained that he was in love with her. That she’d say she felt the same. But at the end of that moment, she’d thrown up spectacularly, and he realized he was completely off target. Something else was wrong.

Kakashi checked Sakura’s temperature again. The bath had brought her fever down by a degree. She still seemed completely out of it. He dried Sakura with the only towel remaining in the bathroom, then dressed her in a t-shirt, as her nightshirt was soaked in sweat. He felt somewhat strange to be doing so, particularly when it came to her panties. But certainly she’d understand. She was a medic, after all. She did stuff like this almost every day. Kakashi waited another half hour, then tried to wake her again. Finally, he propped her up in bed and slapped her face gently. Sakura awoke enough to drink the willow bark, which he’d brewed more strongly, so she’d have less liquid to keep down. He’d try the other concoction in a while, if she was able to keep the first down.

He moved Sakura over to his side of the bed, as her side was sweat-soaked, and took apart her bedroll in search of a lighter weight blanket. Apparently there was some benefit in carrying a “summer bedroll.” He pulled a sheet and a loosely-woven blanket over Sakura, and sat on the floor next to her, reading. This, he could see, was going to be an all-nighter.

...o...o...o...o...

“You don’t understand.” Kakashi awoke from his place on the tatami mat to see Sakura sitting up in bed, talking. It was hard to see in the darkened room, but she appeared to be wide awake.

“Understand what, Sakura?”

“I know you like him, but he isn’t right for me.” She paused, as though listening to a reply. “But that’s not enough! I know you didn’t marry Dad for that reason. You were in love. I want to be in love, too. I don’t just want to love someone. I want to find someone who feels the same way about me. I want to find that person who will complete me. Don’t you want that for me?”

Sasuke. Sakura had never mentioned that she had argued with her mother about their breakup. She hadn’t said much at all as she’d cried into his vest. And there hadn’t been much Kakashi could do to help her, besides holding her. And that was all he could do now. Pull her into his arms and whisper comforting words to her.

I want to be in love, too. Sakura’s words echoed in Kakashi’s ears. Back then, before he’d left her, she hadn’t been afraid to love. Even after years of failure with Sasuke, her heart had still been open.

“Hush, Sakura. Everything’s okay.” He stroked her still-damp hair and kissed her cheek.

I’ll make everything okay.

“Why won’t you listen to me?” Her voice was louder, her fists clenched. “He doesn’t love me. He never did and he never will. Why would you want me to stay with someone like that?”

She was sobbing now. “It almost seems like you care about him more than me. Aren’t you supposed to put me first?” She pushed Kakashi away, sure that he was someone else.

“Sssh. Darling.” His words didn’t seem to be helping.

“How is that putting me first?”

She was as feverish as she’d been earlier. Another bath was in order. Kakashi gently pulled her towards him and attempted to pick her up. She struggled against him.

“I’m not a child anymore! I haven’t been a child since my first C-class mission!” When Haku and Zabuza had been killed. After Kakashi had seen death for the first time, he’d lost his childhood, too. He placed Sakura in the tub before even filling it up, not even bothering to remove her clothes this time. She shivered upon touching the cold porcelain. Kakashi flipped on the light switch and she cried out and hid her face.

“Sakura?”

“Turn off the light!” She attempted to get out of the tub. Kakashi quickly turned off the light, then held her down with one hand as he opened the taps. What the hell was wrong with her? He ran the water a slightly colder this time. He didn’t dare try to take her temperature in the state she was in. She’d probably break the thermometer between her teeth and poison herself.

Kakashi held Sakura to himself as he spoke soothing words. He felt her relax against him, then begin to cry again.

“Kakashi.”

“Sakura? How do you feel?”

“Don’t leave me Kakashi. Please.”

“I’ll never leave you, Sakura.”

“Why are you leaving?” Her eyes were wide with shock. He’d thought she’d come out of it. “What did I do? What did I do? Please... don’t go.” She looked lost. Broken. Heartbroken.

What had he done to her? He’d been so cowardly, so selfish. This was his fault. He’d left and she’d changed from an open, loving girl, to a woman afraid, a person too hurt to reach out again. He wasn’t able to face the fact that he was in love with a sixteen-year old and he’d run away, damning her. He’d damaged her, changed her, perhaps irreparably. And honestly, he didn’t deserve her.

She needs you, Hatake. Don’t run away again.

“Sakura, I’m not leaving. I won’t leave. I love you.” A part of her seemed to hear his words. She pressed against him, tears further drenching his already wet shirt. He kissed her then, tenderly, feeling no guilt at stealing something so intimate from her.

He needed to find a doctor. She seemed more restful now, and not as warm to the touch, but her temperature had decreased after the previous bath, then risen again. She definitely wasn’t improving. Delirium couldn’t be a good sign. It probably meant she was getting worse.

Kakashi stripped Sakura down and dried her as best he could with the towel he’d used earlier. He picked up one of the towels he’d used to construct the “path” to her bed, and ran it through her hair, then carried her back to her bedroom and laid her on the bed. He rummaged through her pack for something lightweight and comfortable to wear, but found nothing. He grabbed a t-shirt of his own and put it on her, then lay down next to her. His presence seemed to soothe her.

He watched her sleep for a while, then crept from her room and hurried to the lobby. A different concierge greeted him, but he was as helpful as the other, and listened with concern as Kakashi told him of his urgent need for a physician. The concierge dispatched a doorman into town and spoke reassuringly to the worried shinobi.

“He’ll be here soon. He’s used to late night emergencies. Go back and rest, and I’ll escort him myself to your suite.”

...o...o...o...o...

“When did this start?”

“She mentioned feeling nauseated this morning, and skipped breakfast. She started throwing up around three. The headache and fever started a little while after. I haven’t been able to bring it down much.”

“Cool compresses?”

“Yes, and willow bark tea and tepid baths. She’s had a hard time keeping down the tea.”

“Well, let’s try to wake her.”

“Sakura?” Kakashi shook her again, and saw the look of concern on the physician’s young face. The man grabbed some ice from the cooler and placed it in Kakashi’s hand.

“This should work. Run it along her neck.”

Sakura awoke with a start, but seemed quite confused, although she recognized her friend.

“Kakashi? Who is this person? Tell him to go away. I’m tired.”

“Sakura, this is a doctor. He needs to examine you.”

“Sakura, sit up please. I’m going to look into your eyes. Look over my shoulder please.”

“That hurts! Stop it! Please!” She slapped at the light source with one hand as she covered her eyes with the other. The physician shut off his penlight, and spoke calmly. “Sakura, can you press your chin to your chest?”

She tried. “It hurts.”

“Try to straighten your legs.” He’d noticed they were half-bent.

“I– I can’t. What did you do to them?” She was becoming agitated again.

Kakashi knelt down to comfort her, and spoke to her softly. “You’re going to be fine, Sakura. Now rest.” She stilled almost immediately, and closed her eyes.

The physician turned to Kakashi and motioned that they should leave the room.

“You’re a ninja, aren’t you?” the physician asked when they’d left the room.

“I really can’t answer that.”

“I think you just did.” He looked at Kakashi’s eye patch. Do you still have the eye?”

“Yes.”

“You’re lucky. That’s some scar.” Scar? The henge jutsu must have partially unravelled.

“So...Sakura?” Kakashi was impatient, and felt no need to shoot the breeze with a civilian. Certainly not when Sakura was ill.

“Where did you travel from?”

“South. Obviously.” They were in the far northern portion of the country, after all.

“Did you pass through Otenka?”

“Hai, yesterday. Why are we talking travel?” Kakashi glared at the man.

“Two Otenkan infants died yesterday. Their bodies were brought to the hospital today for autopsies. Did Sakura come in contact with anyone while you were there?”

“A little girl. Deaths from what?”

“Your friend needs to be hospitalized. I’m almost positive that she has meningitis. Did the little girl cough on her?”

“I don’t know. She did throw up on her.”

“That’s not a known way to transmit the disease.” He frowned. “But it does seem like she has it.”

“The deaths, doctor. Are you saying they were from meningitis?”

“Meningitis is very serious in children, especially in infants. But there are different forms of the disease– in adults, some are worse than others. The cases in Otenka were bacterial meningitis.”

“And that means–?” This was frustrating. The man spoke as obliquely as he did.

“It can be fatal, even for adults.” Kakashi’s eye widened in shock.

Fatal?

“Unfortunately, we don’t have the drugs that some of our neighboring countries do. We can’t easily kill bacteria. Our researchers have found a fungus that works in some cases of infection, but it isn’t tolerated well, and it hasn’t been successful against this form of meningitis. Our hospital is not what you are used to, either. We obviously don’t have chakra-trained medics, as we’re not a hidden village. We do have technology. Snow is willing to sell us that, but not their medicines.”

“What are you telling me?” The ninja’s voice raised in anger and disbelief.

“We’ll do our best to treat her. We’ll cool her body down, give her IV fluids so she doesn’t become dehydrated and raise the chances that her body can fight off the infection.”

“But? I can tell there’s a ‘but.’”

“She may end up deaf or brain-damaged.”

Kakashi stared, stricken, unable to speak. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. Konoha would be a two-and-a-half-day trek with no breaks if he were running full out and carrying Sakura. But what other options did he have?

Snow country.

“Yukigakure. It’s not that far from here, is it?”Kawahana was close to the northern border of Fire Country. Surely he could make it to the Village Hidden in the Snow in a reasonable amount of time.

“It’s sixty kilometers. You’re right– Snow has the antibiotics you need. Their doctors and medics would be able to save her. But the border is closed, and it would take you days to walk. The illness has come on so rapidly. In cases like this, the first forty-eight hours are critical. She’ll be dead before you get to Yakigakure. I’m sorry.” The physician turned and began packing his bag. “I’ll send a litter for her immediately, and we’ll do the best we can.”

“No. That won’t be necessary. We’re going to Yukigakure. I’m not going to let her die.” The physician looked at him incredulously.

“You’ll never get there in time.”

“I will.” Kakashi escorted the doctor to the door, then rapidly dressed Sakura in her jounin clothes, and began to back up their belongings. He put on his standard-issue blue pants and shirt, then hurried down to the lobby to talk to the concierge. It was the elderly man he’d met the night before. The man stood as he approached, clearly seeing the panic writ across Kakashi’s face. Kakashi quickly explained his situation. He’d realized there was no way he’d be able to carry both Sakura and their packs. The old man was quite accommodating. The border was directly north, Kakashi learned, and Yukikagure was 10 km north of that, where the Kawayuki river turned east. It was relatively flat terrain, or so the concierge had heard, and wooded for most of the distance. He could follow the river the entire way. The concierge told Kakashi that he could leave their things in the suite, and he’d make sure they were stored someplace safe until their return.

“You’re a good man. I can tell. And I can see how much you love her. As much as she loves you.”

Kakashi looked at the man, startled at his words. When had he seen them together?

“I saw you at the festival,” the man added. “Good luck to you. Safe travel.”

Kakashi returned to the suite, and calmed himself. It would be stupid to forget something critical in his rush to set off.

What else did he need? Water. Money. Weapons. Papers. He released the henge jutsu, strapped on his hitae-ate and kunai pouch, and attached his shuriken holster. He removed Sakura’s medic’s vest from her pack and put it on her, then shrugged on his own green jounin vest. He belatedly remembered the herbs and thermometer and stuffed them into his own clothes. Water. He filled both canteens and slung them from his waist. Money. He split the cash he carried between his own and Sakura’s vests.

His normal calm, almost lethargic demeanor had evaporated. Kakashi was as filled with adrenaline as if he were about to engage in battle. And in a way, he was about to do so.

Almost ready.

Kakashi went to the tansu, pulled out stationery and pen and quickly scrawled a note.

Satisfied that details taken care of, Kakashi carried Sakura outside, and set her on a garden bench. Then he bit down on his thumb and summoned Pakkun.

“Take this to Tsunade, as quickly as possible. Wait for her response, then find me. We’re heading north to Snow Country.”

“What’s the matter? I’ve never seen you this upset.”

“It’s Sakura.”

Pakkun sniffed the unconscious kunoichi. “She’s hot, really hot. Is she dying?” His question was blunt, but well-intended.

“She will if I don’t get moving.” Kakashi tucked the note he’d written into the zipped compartment on Pakkun’s collar and sent him on his way with a word of thanks. Then the ninja hoisted Sakura onto his back, and ran off into the night.

Chapter 25–Urgency

Sixty kilometers. The record for a civilian athlete running a race of that length was three hours. A race that long– an ultra-marathon– was one hundred fifty percent as long as a normal marathon race, and not possible for many runners. And this record time of three hours presumed a level pavement, proper footwear, and breaks for sustenance, not to mention an absence of baggage.

Of course Kakashi wasn’t an athlete, or a civilian. He was wearing inflexible winter boots, not running shoes, and the forest floor was anything but level. He had water, but no food. In addition to this, he was carrying a fair amount of baggage on his back, in the form of Haruno Sakura. Kakashi was a shinobi, however, and thanks to his “eternal rival’s” incessant challenges, he had run a 60 kilometer distance (24 times around Konoha’s walls, to be exact) on many occasions, often in half the civilian record time. He’d never done so carrying a woman, however.

He carried Sakura piggyback. He’d decided his center of gravity would be too far forward should he carry her in front. This might lead to a nasty spill, and if he did fall, Sakura would take the brunt of it. A fireman’s carry was also out of the question. It seemed likely that being slung head-down over his shoulders would cause Sakura to vomit, and he certainly didn’t want her to become any more dehydrated. So piggyback was the remaining option. The problem was that she was barely conscious and her hands kept slipping from around his neck. As his hands were otherwise occupied holding her legs in place, his pace had slowed each time her arms had dropped and head lolled backwards, so that he could readjust her position.

Kakashi stopped after a while, and dug through the pockets of his vest for something suitable to secure her to him. He had no rope, but he did find some wire. Her medic’s vest should protect her from the biting cuts into her flesh that the wire was likely to make otherwise. The council had decided some time ago that it was worth the expense to line medics’ vests with an unusual synthetic white fabric (from Snow Country, of course) that acted like chain mail. Regular jounin were not yet afforded this luxury, but Kakashi had concerns about yet another scar across his chest as he secured the wire tightly around their torsos.

It was a clear night, which was lucky, and the forest was dense enough to provide cover, yet sparse enough in places for Kakashi to find his bearings against the north star. He ran close to the river, though not at its bank. The footing was certainly more stable there, but the risk of exposure was far too great. The night was cold, though above freezing, but he was now far north enough that snow still clung to branches and patches of ground that were shaded by day, despite the near sea-level elevation.

An hour into his journey, Kakashi stopped to check on Sakura and to get some sorely needed refreshment. He unfastened Sakura from her improvised bindings, set her gently against a tree trunk, then tried to awaken her. It took several minutes, and it was clear she wasn’t herself when she did wake. She didn’t recognize him, but she was fairly sedate. He decided to risk taking her temperature, and busied himself with the tasks of self-rejuvenation and medicine preparation. He half-emptied his first canteen in his thirst, before using a toned-down version of the chidori jutsu to warm the container’s remaining water. As he did so, Kakashi saw the chakra ball’s glow shimmer across Sakura’s features. Something was very wrong. He knelt down carefully, and moved the ball of pulsing energy a bit closer to her face. It was her eyes– the pupils were dilated abnormally. One was large, while the other was quite constricted. Neither seemed to change when he moved the chidori away from her, then back again, although she did avert her eyes and cry out softly in pain. He had no idea what this new development signified, but it couldn’t be a change for the better.

Kakashi added the remaining willow bark to the canteen, and then some snow to cool the steeping tisane. He checked the thermometer. 41 degrees, higher than her temperature had been at the ryokan. Brain damage would begin at 42 degrees, he knew. What was he going to do? He’d run quickly; this should have cooled her down at least a bit, considering the effects of wind chill. She wasn’t dressed particularly warmly, after all. Perhaps if he dampened her skin slightly, she might cool a bit more as the breeze evaporated the water. Thankfully, she wasn’t shivering. To do so would cause her body’s vessels to restrict, in an attempt to retain her body’s heat. Kakashi recognized the fine line he was walking in trying to cool her safely.

Kakashi held the canteen to Sakura’s lips and urged her to drink. She complied readily, and didn’t complain when Kakashi poured some water from the other canteen into his hands and rubbed it against her face, arms and legs. She seemed quite peaceful, actually, quite different from the agitated girl of hours before.

“Sakura? Are you with me?”

“When will we make camp? It’s late, isn’t it?” At least she was partially aware now; she’d apparently recognized that they were outside. Kakashi tried to keep her talking.

“Are you hungry for ramen?” That should surely elicit a response.

“Is Naruto here? He cooks the best ramen. As good as Ichiraku, almost.”

“It’s cup ramen, I’m afraid.”

“It’s always cup ramen. I hate cup ramen. My head hurts. Why does it hurt so much? Did I fall?”

“Sakura, do you think you can stay awake?”

“It hurts to keep my eyes open. I’m so tired.” Sakura’s eyelids fluttered shut.

“Sakura. Stay with me.” Kakashi’s voice was sharp, betraying the urgency he felt. Over the past hours, it seemed to be getting harder and harder to wake her. Better to keep her awake, he thought, than have her completely lose consciousness.

“Kakashi?” She frowned, eyes still closed, as she recognized his voice. “Why are you angry at me?”

“I’m not angry, Sakura.” His voice was gentle, soothing. “But I need your help, Sakura. Will you stay up with me?”

“We should be sleeping. It’s late. Everyone else is already asleep. The fire is so warm...”

“I’m on watch, and I don’t think I can do it alone. Will you help me?”

“Sure, Kakashi.” Sakura’s smiled sleepily. “Anything for you.”

“Why don’t you tell me about where you’d like me to take you on vacation? Your choice, Sakura– anywhere you like. Grab hold of my neck.” He lifted Sakura onto his back and leaned over so that she draped over him, and quickly refastened the wire he’d used to bind them.

“I was hoping we were going to the beach. I want to see sea stars and anemones.”

“Well, then that’s where we’ll go. What else would you like to do?” He set off running.

“Why are you carrying me, Kakashi?”

“Because we’re in a hurry, and you can’t run.”

“Oh. You smell nice.”

She thinks sweat and panic smell nice. I love this woman.

“Tell me where you’d like me to take you to dinner.”

“Tempura. Definitely tempura. I could eat it every day.”

Kakashi realized he would gladly eat deep-fried, panko-breaded cardboard every meal for the rest of his days if doing so would save her life tonight.

“Sounds great. What else?”

“I’d like to try a steak from a sake-fed cow. And I’ve never eaten someplace really fancy. And chocolate. I love chocolate.”

“Mmm. Good idea.”

“Kakashi?”

“Yes?”

“I think I need to throw up.”

...o...o...o...o...

They were within ten kilometers of the border, Kakashi thought. He’d done his job for so long that he could measure distances run fairly accurately, even when he was forced to move more slowly. There was still no sign of Pakkun, though. It should have been a simple matter for the ninken to substantiate in Konoha, then transition back to the far north. He might have lost their scent, but this didn’t seem likely. Despite the fact that he had the squished-in sinuses of a pug, Pakkun’s sense of smell was second to none. And Sakura had inadvertently laid a trail for him to follow. Kakashi had realized belatedly that talking about food had not been such a good idea. But small talk was not easy for him– he had been lucky to find anything to talk about at such short notice. He was a man of deeds, not words, after all.

Kakashi was not concerned about crossing the border itself. There might be actual checkpoints, but as a ninja, these were not a concern. The border guards would never see him, even carrying Sakura. The teleportation jutsu was extremely useful in such circumstances, despite its short range. And genjutsu could be used to divert the guards’ attention.

His real concern was the shinobi guard waiting at the gates of the village hidden in the snow. They would sight him from kilometers away, and without some kind of entree from Konoha’s hokage, they would never admit Kakashi or Sakura. Safety was the paramount concern in a hidden village. It was completely normal that even a critically-ill shinobi would be regarded with suspicion. Added to this was the fact that Snow and Fire were barely allies.

There had been talks in recent years about strengthening the tenuous relationship between the two nations, but not much had come of them. At this time, Snow Country was a rather one-sided trading partner of Fire Country. They were happy to sell certain types of technology, but held back others, and their imports were limited to the raw materials they could not obtain from their own soil. They were a highly secretive nation, although on several occasions they had made use of Fire’s renowned shinobi. Konoha’s team 7 had been instrumental in bringing their popular monarchy back to power. Fire Country was a super-power however, and dwarfed Snow in both size, population, and military power. It was understandable, therefore, that both Snow and its hidden village would be leery of interaction with Fire. Kakashi doubted that even his and Sakura’s participation in the reinstallation of Snow’s monarchy would make the village council any more likely to grant them admittance to the village. It seemed more likely that they would view their past assistance as an affront to their own skills.

He was definitely at the border now. He saw several signs that the otherwise unremarkable area was being patrolled heavily, though by civilians: numerous broken branches, trampled undergrowth, footprints, even litter. He smelled Pakkun before he saw him.

“You finally made it.”

“Good to see you, too.” Pakkun growled in displeasure, but seeing Kakashi’s stricken face, he quickly adopted a more conciliatory tone. “I had a hard time leaving Konoha-- Tsunade was almost hysterical. Her office now looks directly into the reception area, by the way. How is Sakura?”

Kakashi shrugged as he reached down and unzipped Pakkun’s collar, pulling out a small scroll, a larger, ornately decorated one, and a roll of cash. “I really don’t know. A little worse, I think.” He unrolled the first scroll and quickly read its hurried writing.

Kakashi– I have no doubt that you will do everything in your power to take care of Sakura, and will not allow her to die. Enclosed is a letter of entry to Snow’s Hidden Village. They recognize is as authentic, not only by my seal, but also due to the information included. Ask for the help of their chief medic, Sota Junko. I trust her completely to do whatever is possible to save Sakura’s life. Junko and I trained together, long ago, and have corresponded regularly. Her skills are unsurpassed. Consider this a direct order: under no conditions are you to rush back to Konoha– meningitis is debilitating and Sakura will need plenty of time to recover. You may, however, leave Snow as soon as it is appropriate to do so. Funds are enclosed. Keep me apprised of my apprentice’s progress, and tell her that she is in my thoughts and those of the village. Gokoun o inorimasu. --Godaime Tsunade, Kage no Konohagakure no Sato

“You love her, don’t you?” Kakashi nodded with glazed eyes. “Ganbare yo!”

“Thank you, friend.” Kakashi sprinted the remaining ten kilometers to Yukigakure

“Hold on, Sakura. Almost there.”

...o...o...o...o...

..o...o...o...o...

Kakashi was surprised when they didn’t place Sakura into the intensive care unit, considering how quickly she’d been removed from his arms when he arrived at the hospital. The sense of urgency among the staff was palpable, and Kakashi heard the number “42" whispered frequently. He stood in the waiting area, helpless and coiled and coiled with tension, until a small, white-haired woman called his name and beckoned him to join her. Despite his anxiety, Kakashi smiled when he realized that Sota Junko was a woman, unlike her Icha, Icha Paradise namesake. It was hard, in fact, to imagine her as a ninja. She was the soft, grandmotherly type, with a face full of wrinkles that attested to her tendency to smile. Tsunade had written that her skills were unsurpassed. Surely her comfortable, unassuming bedside manner was a part of her success. It was Junko’s decision, he learned, to keep Sakura out of the ICU. There were turf wars, she explained, between the hospital’s doctors and medics, and should Sakura be assigned to the ICU, it was likely that one or more probes would be implanted through her skull. This, in Junko’s opinion, was medically unnecessary. After placing Sakura into a cool bath, she had knelt at her side and allowed her chakra to flow just below the younger medic’s skull, so that she might examine the condition of her meninges.

“Isn’t what you’re doing reliant on a forbidden jutsu? Entering her brain?” Kakashi asked cautiously.

“No, not at all. I’m not entering Sakura’s brain, only examining the membrane that surrounds it. I am not able to get past that barrier.” The sixty-odd year old looked at Kakashi shrewdly. “To tell the truth, I didn’t know such a jutsu existed. It’s been years since I worked with Tsunade. It sounds like I owe her a visit. But how would you know about such a forbidden medical jutsu?”

“I encountered it while dealing with a rogue ninja. I learned it was forbidden during my debrief with Tsunade-sama,” Kakashi hedged. His prowess at deceit did come in handy every now and then. He then quickly changed the subject, another tactic he’d mastered long ago. “What is wrong with these membranes?”

“They’re inflamed, presumably because of a bacterial infection. Viral infections typically don’t progress this fast. Her body is trying to fight the infection by increasing her temperature, but things are out of control. If you hadn’t brought her in when you did...” She looked him directly in the eyes. “You saved her life, Hatake-san.”

“Then she’s okay?” Kakashi felt buoyed by a sudden wave of hope, but crashed down immediately at Junko’s response.

“Not quite yet. I can feel quite a bit of pressure against her meninges, and therefore also against her brain. That’s why she had the headache and why her eyes are behaving strangely. If she slips into a coma in the next few hours, it will be because her brain has been damaged substantially. If this happens, there is an extremely high chance she will die or never fully recover her cognitive functions. She might be blind or deaf, as well. You did well to keep her alert and cool. I think she’s just sleeping now. I am hopeful, Hatake-san, that we can cure her. We have more effective fever-reducers than willow bark, so we should be able to keep her fever down. There’s a substance we can introduce that will help to relieve the pressure, and we’ll also use a steroid to reduce the inflammation. One thing we will have to do as soon as possible is a lumbar puncture.”

“That means what?”

“We’ll have to push a needle into her spine and remove some of the fluid I mentioned. Once we sample it, we’ll look for the presence of bacteria.”

“It sounds painful.”

“It’s not as bad as it sounds. Sometimes it causes a headache, but I doubt it would be any worse than the one she’s been experiencing.”

“But that headache is giving her incredible pain. If you’re already sure it’s a bacterial infection, why bother?” Kakashi’s voice increased in volume. He knew from Tsunade’s letter that her colleague was highly experienced– as well-trained as the Hokage– but he couldn’t stomach the idea of Sakura enduring even more pain.

“I am almost positive her infection is bacterial.’ Junko spoke calmly and patiently. “But there are many different types of bacteria that could be the cause. Unfortunately, the medication that kills one bacteria may be useless against another. We’ll start her on a combination of likely meds right away, and once we find out exactly what is causing her condition, we’ll switch to the appropriate antibiotic.”

“Antibiotic?”

“A class of medication we’ve developed that kills bacteria infecting wounds, the blood or the cerebrospinal fluid. You haven’t heard of them because the government of Snow has been unwilling to share these medications with our neighbors. They see such refusal as a tactical advantage.”

“But you are not at war.”

“No, but the government will take any opportunity to strengthen itself against our larger neighbors, such as Sand and Fire. This is despite the fact that medic-nins discovered and developed antibiotics– hidden villagers, not the scientists of Snow’s many research facilities. Our government is parallel to Snow’s, not subservient. It was not Snow’s decision to make.” The medic frowned. “It is against the code of ethics for a medic-nin to deprive others of needed medicine or any other assistance. We seek to extinguish suffering, not further inflame it.”

Junko, Kakashi realized, reminded him of both Rin and Sakura. All three shared the same passion to heal and nurture, as well as the drive to do what was right at any cost. “Yet you have been allowed to treat Sakura.”

Junko did not answer immediately. Instead she inserted a device Kakashi had never seen before into Sakura’s mouth. It beeped a moment later. Junko examined it and relaxed slightly. “Her temperature has dropped below the danger point, for now.”

Junko leaned to lift Sakura out of the bath, wrapping her in the towel Kakashi held out. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn’t have allowed him to remain in the room, but it was clear that the relationship between the young medic and shinobi was more than professional. Junko saw desperation in Kakashi’s eye. It was her duty to tell him the truth, but she also did her best to allay his concerns.

“You were probably wondering about the delay when you arrived at the hospital. We were forewarned of your arrival, of course, by runners from the gate, but our conversation still took unnecessarily long. You should know that there are some who would rather that your friend not be treated.” She sighed, and looked away. “But even if the others had not finally agreed– I had to plant the idea of an international incident to get them to do so, by the way– I would have treated Sakura. Even if it had meant disobeying a direct order. I owe Tsunade a lot, and as this woman is her apprentice, I will do anything in my power to restore her health.”

“Sota-sama, we are in your debt.” Kakashi bowed deeply, more deeply than he ever had before.

Kakashi took Sakura from the older medic’s arms, and gently lay her on the bed, where a gown lay folded. He slipped her into the open-backed gown, and did his best to make sure she was comfortable. The bed was quite cool, he noticed. A pad that circulated ice water lay under the sheet, connected to a cooler and pump under the bed.

“When Sakura arrived, I thought I might need to insert a temperature probe to measure her cerebral temperature. Now that her temperature is down a bit, I think we can forgo that. We’ll attach her to a monitor that measures her skin temperature, but that should be enough. I’ll start her IV, then get the doctor who will do the lumbar puncture.” She expertly inserted a cannula into Sakura’s forearm, then turned to look at Kakashi again. “You have probably heard that meningitis is quite serious. The next day will be critical for Sakura. Know that I will do everything I can for her. But her condition is quite serious.” Kakashi could not meet the medic’s eyes, focusing instead on the ugly curtains that covered the window. “I am telling you this because you need to know the truth. But, keep hope, Hatake-san. There is no use in thinking otherwise.” Junko turned to exit the room, but suddenly turned back to face him as she reached the door. “One last thing. You will need to take a course of antibiotics as well. It’s likely that you have been exposed. A nurse will be by shortly to talk with you.”

A nurse did come in quickly, but before talking to Kakashi, she busied herself with caring for Sakura. She attached a bag of fluids to Sakura’s IV line, then connected Sakura to a number of monitors, brightly lighting the room before she did so. She did not seem to hear Sakura’s mumbled cry of pain as the light bled through her eyelids– the nurse was too busy chatting up the interesting male in the room. She cheerily clipped a small device to Sakura’s index finger-- to measure the oxygen in her blood, she told Kakashi, then attached several electrodes to Sakura’s chest to monitor her heart rate. She wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Sakura’s upper arm, then pulled a screen around her bed as she inserted a urinary catheter. Work complete, the nurse smiled coyly as she pulled back the screen and stripped off her gloves. After washing up, she passed Kakashi a pleated paper cup containing several white tablets.

Kakashi stood motionless, cup in hand, unwilling to turn around to remove his mask in relative privacy. He was not in the mood for what he expected to come next.

“You’re the copy ninja, aren’t you? I’ve heard all about you. You’re quite famous, you know. For lots of reasons.” She actually winked at him.

He had no time for flirting, even of the one-sided variety. “Yes, I am. And this is my fiancee.” He flipped off the several lamps the nurse had lit. Even in the darkened room, the nurse’s expression of dismay was visible. She quickly exited the room. Kakashi sighed and took the turquoise, vinyl-covered seat next to Sakura’s bed.

That particular lie is certainly coming in handy, Hatake.

But it wasn’t a lie, not really. Kakashi had realized that Sakura completed him. He wanted nothing other than to spend the rest of his life with her. Assuming she made it through this ordeal.

Chapter 26–Dreams and Icha, Icha

The hall was dimly lit, as usual, dim the way he remembered it, the glazed green tile walls reflecting and scattering the little light that illuminated them. The smell was present, too, as usual. He didn’t often recognize smells in his dreams, but in this particular one, his nose was assaulted with the sickly-sweet and slightly dizzying smell of formalin. He walked down the hall, unable to see through the windows set into the doors, as they were above his current height. However, this didn’t matter because he knew his destination. It was the same every time– last set of double doors to the right. The person who’d accompanied him in real life was never in the dream. Instead, he traveled alone each time, scared of what he’d see at walk’s end. The hall stretched on as he walked, and the clenching fear in his stomach grew. It was as though he were trudging through mud, while at the same time being dragged forward.

He reached the double doors and pushed his small frame against them until they opened. Immediately his eyes were assaulted by blindingly bright lights and the glare of stainless steel. One wall was completely covered with what might have been mistaken at first glance for file cabinets, except for the fact that they were oversized and had heavy-duty latches and hinges. They sparkled with the cleanliness only seen in hospitals. The other wall held three tables that looked like altars, flat slabs on squared-off pedestals. They shone under the intensely bright lights suspended above them. One slab held what might have been a sacrifice, a body half covered in a sheet. He approached the stainless steel table and saw two hands folded peacefully above the sheet. They looked as though they’d been carved from finely veined marble by a master sculptor– they were a beautiful representation of life, but completely still and lifeless. His eye moved further up the arms and he saw the bandages that wrapped elbow to wrist. They’d tried to save her, he’d been told, but they’d been too late. The blood loss had been too great. She’d died peacefully, they’d said, in the warm comfort of a bath. His eyes filled with tears as he recognized his mother’s face.

But it wasn’t her, not really. She’d always been so lively– even through the pain and loneliness she’d suffered in recent years she had never stayed still. The statue laid before him in this frigid room was clearly not that woman. But she had his mother’s nose, her lips, her finely sculpted cheekbones. Her eyebrows had the same perfect arch, and her hair was the same. He remembered the feel of that hair against his skin, how it would flow around him when she hugged him tightly. His mother hadn’t been a vain woman, although she was quite beautiful, but she did take a certain pride in her satiny black hair. It fell in a liquid sheet to just below her shoulders, and the light reflected from it in silken bands. Now it lay fanned out, still beautiful, but unmoving.

She was dead. The body before him was nothing more than a crumbling cocoon, the tattered, broken remains of her existence. He was alone now, truly alone. He dropped to the cold tile floor and howled in sorrow and pain.

Kakashi woke with a start. The worst part of every hospital stay was that dream. It haunted him, often visiting when he fell asleep, either as patient or visitor. But only in the hospital. Since the building of the Konoha hospital, some fifty years ago, the ground floor of the structure had served as morgue. Kakashi had only visited it once, avoiding every occasion to do so since. His famed tardiness had served him well in this regard. There was always someone else who could be called on to identify a body– Kakashi would pay his respects in other ways. Somehow the memorial stone was a far more comforting place, despite its cold, hard appearance. For him it was a more abstract, impersonal reminder of the inevitability of death. The morgue, and even the hospital above it (or any hospital, it seemed), were too real, and soaked with the horror of death.

He rubbed his eyes, pushing up his hitae-ate as he did so, willing the last memories of his mother to leave his mind. It was funny that Sakura hadn’t stumbled upon these images, as often as they visited him. There were millions and millions of cells in his brain, each storing information, but she’d happened upon the most important memories as she’d walked through his mind. Just not that particular one.

Kakashi stretched, and looked over at the sleeping kunoichi beside him. Her arm was still extended, her hand curled as though she’d been holding his hand until quite recently. The monitors beeped comfortingly behind her. She seemed to be doing well. Perhaps she was aware of his eyes upon her, because she began to stir.

“Kakashi?” Sakura’s voice cracked a bit after hours of disuse. She turned to her side and looked up at him. “That’s you, isn’t it?”

“Konbanwa, Sakura-chan. How are you feeling?”

“Something’s different.” She thought for a moment, then smiled in relief. “My headache’s gone. I’m still having vision problems, though. Everything is blurry and a bit dim.”

“Close your eyes, then. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Have you been sleeping in that chair this whole time?”

“I’ve slept in worse places. So have you.”

“What time is it?”

“About eight, I’d say. Of course, my sense of time isn’t that good.”

“Really? I’d never noticed.” Sarcasm dripped from her voice. “You’re exhausted, aren’t you?”

“I’m pretty sure I’m doing better than you.” His voice was dry.

“You saved my life.”

“Hmm.”

“I guess it’s not the first time.”

“I’m not keeping score.”

“No? I’m a burden to you, Kakashi. I always have been.”

“No, Sakura. No. You’ve never been a burden. You’re precious to me. Do you really think I could stand by and let you get hurt?”

“You’re precious to me, too, Kakashi-kun.”She turned her head away, but not before Kakashi saw the expression on her face. Of realization, perhaps, or of an inkling of understanding.

“Have you found some place to stay?”

“I’m not planning on leaving here until you do, Sakura.”

“I’m fine now, Kakashi-kun. You don’t need to be here 24-7.” He had to admit he liked it when she called him that. “At the very least, you should get some air. Please?”

“Okay. I’ll be back in a few. Don’t go anywhere.” He took her hand and guided it to the rails of the bed. “These are different than in Konoha. There’s a remote here, and a call button here. I’m sure there’s something on TV. I might actually want to stay in our hospital if they had TV, you know.”

“It will be the first thing I discuss with Tsunade when we return– in-room entertainment. But first the village will need to start broadcasting, don’t you think?” Sakura laughed in amusement as her hand played over the button.

Kakashi returned in less than ten minutes, bag in hand. He was surprised to see that the TV was off. It was clear Sakura was awake, although her eyes were closed. She was kicking her foot in boredom.

“Kakashi?” She’d recognized his chakra signature. “You were supposed to take a walk.”

“Who says I didn’t?”

“Me. You don’t smell like you’ve been outside.”

“I didn’t know you were part dog.”

“You know what I mean. When someone’s been outside, they carry the cold in with them. You don’t smell like winter. It is still winter here, isn’t it?”

“Nothing on TV?”

“There’s plenty on. Just nothing I want to listen to. Soap operas and game shows.”

“Ah.” He opened the bag and pulled out a hairbrush. “I bought you some toiletries. I didn’t think to pack them before we left. Would you like me to brush your hair?”

“I can do that myself, Kakashi.”

“I know. That’s not why I asked. I’m trying to make myself useful.”

“OK, then.” She frowned, but sat up in the bed to allow Kakashi access. She had to admit that it felt nice to have her hair brushed. The last time someone had done this for her had been years ago. Until she’d turned nine, her bedtime ritual had included her mom brushing her hair and reading to her, then talking with her about the day’s events.

“You have quite a few tangles. Sorry about that.” The brush pulled slightly on her scalp, and Sakura grimaced.

“It does that. My mom always used to threaten to take a scissors to it. It was a fairly effective threat, I remember.”

“Open your mouth.” She heard the rustle of a wrapper and then her mouth was flooded with the satiny smooth sensation of melting chocolate. Sakura smiled and sighed.

“I should do this more often.”

“Do what?”

Sakura giggled. “Get sick. It’s nice to be pampered.”

They were interrupted by Junko, who entered frowning. “How are you feeling, Sakura?”

“Pretty good. My headache’s gone. My head feels great, but my vision isn’t too good.”

“It sounds like the steroids are working. I expect your vision to be back to normal soon. If not, I can repair it, assuming it’s the optic nerve.” She glanced at the monitor. “Your fever’s down a bit, too. I don’t want to remove the cooling pad just yet, though. The preliminary results from the lumbar puncture are back. It is bacterial meningitis, but it’s not the strain we expected. Unfortunately, the mixture of antibiotics you’ve been taking isn’t effective against this strain. The good news is that we do know which one to give you now, and we’ll start you on it immediately. Hatake-san, you’ll need to switch over, as well. A nurse will be by in a few minutes with the meds.” Junko wrote some notes on Sakura’s chart, then listened to Sakura’s heart and breathing. “You seem to be doing well. I’m on call tonight, so if you need anything, just let the nurse know. Good night, then.” She quietly left the room.

“I’m bored, Kakashi, and I bet you are, too.”

Actually, he wasn’t. It was delightful to sit there with Sakura, even if they weren’t doing anything in particular. She was clearly feeling much better, almost back to her usual self. “What would you like to do, Sakura-chan?”

“Would you read to me?”

“There are some novels in the gift shop. Any preferences?”

“No. If their gift shop is anything like the one in our hospital, the selection will be limited to thick books about dynasties of insanely rich families and the women behind the scenes. And their cat fights.”

“Oh?” He was suddenly interested.

“Their clothes stay on, Kakashi. It’s not mud wrestling– just bitchiness and hairpulling. And long, fake nails and big hair. Basically a soap opera– like on the radio– but in book form. They tend to melt the brain, you know?”

Kakashi had never listened to a soap opera, but it did sound boring. “Well, what do you suggest then?” He smiled wickedly, although Sakura couldn’t appreciate this with her eyes closed. He knew where this conversation was headed.

“Could you read me Icha, Icha Takutikusu?”

He laughed aloud. “I hadn’t realized you’re a fan, Sakura-chan.”

“Well, I’m wondering what happens next. It had just gotten interesting when you woke up.” Her cheeks bloomed scarlet.

“You know, all you had to do was ask. I’d gladly have loaned it to you.”

“Just read, Kakashi.” She’d turned redder still.

He got up and shut the door to the room. Sakura turned at the sound of the door closing. “Wouldn’t want to sully your reputation,” Kakashi said by way of explanation. He pulled the orange-clad book from his kunai pouch. “Do you remember where you left off?”

“Let’s see. Jinrai had just finished a threesome that would have been a foursome if he hadn’t killed one of the sisters.”

“Right. Lucky guy.” Kakashi paged to the appropriate place.

“Have you ever done that?”

“Done what?”

“Had a foursome? Or threesome?”

“What kind of question is that?” He was glad her eyes were closed, as a blush had crept into his face and was surely visible on the small amount of skin his face showed. She’d surprised him with her question, though he had no compunctions about answering. It was just fun to tease her.

“You’re the one who said, ‘Lucky guy.’ You pretty much opened yourself up for it.”

“No, Sakura.”

“No, what?”

“I’ve never had a threesome. Or foursome. Or participated in an orgy. I’m more of a one woman man.”

“Oh.” She smiled. “Read.”

“Imperious, aren’t we?” Nonetheless, he began reading.

Jinrai didn’t feel as tired as he had expected. He was getting older, and strenuous activity was a bit more difficult than it had been only two or three years ago. Of course, it wasn’t every day that he romped in the hay with two stunningly beautiful women, who happened to be kunoichi. He hadn’t felt this satisfied in quite some time. He’d been their plaything for hours on end, until they left, just before sunrise. He had been their R and R, apparently, a brief vacation from the tedium of their everyday lives. He quickly removed the ropes that still bound him to the bed and rubbed the places where they had cut into his flesh. He found his clothes in several corners of the room and quickly dressed and headed out into the morning light. He’d promised Nakawa Koji, a friend he’d encountered weeks ago while on the road, that he’d look him up when he passed through his town. Jinrai was within only a few kilometers of the town in question. Today seemed as good a day as any to seek him out.

Kanto was a small town, strongly fortified with a wall several meters thick and posted at intervals with heavily armed guards. The guards were a new addition: Jinrai didn’t remember seeing them during his previous visit, years ago. Something critical must have happened, or must be about to happen for the town to dedicate its resources in such a manner. Jinrai passed through the gates with no problem, as he had a letter of introduction from his friend, Koji. The guard pointed the way to his residence, which Jinrai saw was quite large, and somewhat ostentatious.

Jinrai quickly made his way to the house and was escorted inside by one comfortable, served tea by another, and then left to himself while the master of the house was called.

He looked up to see his friend, a large homely man dressed to the nines in robes of satin silk.

“O jama shimasu.”

‘Jinrai! You finally made it!’ Koji greeted Jinrai with a bone-crushing bear hug. The man was nothing if not ebullient. He seemed to greet every day as the universe’s best creation yet, and every person as the primary reason for his happiness. This probably explained his huge financial success as a merchant. Buying and selling were much, much easier when the person you were dealing with felt as though they were special. The wealthy man’s tone changed, however, with his next words.

‘I am glad you have come. Something terrible has happened. My niece, Midori– I believe I have spoken of her– she’s a beautiful, innocent girl of only sixteen. She’s been kidnapped. We haven’t heard from her captors yet, but I assume she’s being held for ransom. I have no enemies to speak of, but wealth does funny things. It turns the heads of one’s friends and acquaintances. It makes people desperate.’

‘You suspect someone you know fairly well, then?’

‘Midori leads a sheltered life within the walls of this compound. She doesn’t spend much time in the company of outsiders. Only someone with some knowledge of our family would know her movements.’

‘I see. And you want me to find her?’

‘If anyone can do it, you can.’

‘When was she kidnapped?’

‘A week ago yesterday.’

‘Were there any witnesses?’

‘No. When her servant came to wake her, Midori was missing. It must have occurred in the night.’

“And you haven’t heard from the kidnappers?’ Jinrai’s did his best to hide his concern, and made his tone as casual as possible. Eight days was a long time to wait for a ransom note. Kidnappers usually moved quickly– the less time spent holding a captive, the better their chances of success. It therefore seemed unlikely to him that the girl was being held for ransom. It seemed more likely that she was either dead, or that she’d faked the kidnapping--

“Kakashi?”

“Hmm?” He looked up from the text.

“This is surprising. There’s actually a plot.”

“Sorry to disappoint you. I know you’re just interested in the sex scenes.”

“You have to admit the first few chapters were pretty light weight, plot-wise.”

“Jiraiya always starts his books that way, to hook the reader. And if you’re honest, you’ll admit that it’s a pretty effective strategy.”

“You don’t have to rub it in, you know.”

“Oh, I think I do. How many hundreds of times have you harassed me about reading these books?”

“It’s probably in the thousands, actually.”

“Who would have thought that Haruno Sakura had a penchant for adult literature?”

“Stop it, Kakashi.”

“We’re more alike than I realized, Sakura-chan.”

“If we’re alike, it’s because you’ve perverted me. Hentai.”

“I’m pretty sure you picked up the book of your own free will.”

“Yes, but years of seeing you reading them probably twisted my subconscious.”

“Whatever you need to tell yourself is fine. But it probably would be more healthy just to admit to yourself that the Icha, Icha series is quite good reading and your old sensei was right this whole time.”

She looked so cute when she was mad. “Of course you’d say that, Kakashi.”

“Shall I continue?”

“Whatever.” If her eyes had been open she would have rolled them.

Kakashi sat quietly for a while, staring at Sakura as he noisily turned a page every few minutes.

“Are you reading that to yourself?”

“Well, you didn’t sound interested, Sakura-chan. I really don’t want to bore you, or pervert you further.”

“Just read the damn book, Kakashi.”

The copy ninja smiled victoriously, and began to read, but was interrupted by the entrance of a nurse– a different one than earlier in the day.

“It looks like you’re doing a lot better than when you came in,” she said to Sakura. “I’m just going to change your IV bag and add your new antibiotics. She handed a paper cup to Kakashi. “And before I forget, here are yours.” She was brisk and efficient, and smiled when she noticed the book in Kakashi’s hands. “It looks like I interrupted you two. Don’t let me stop your reading.”

“What is the medication you’re giving me?”

“Oh, it’s a new antibiotic we’ve developed.”

“What are antibiotics? We don’t have them in Fire Country.”

“They are chemicals that kill bacteria. They’re amazing. I can’t tell you how many lives have been saved since we’ve started using them.”

“How long do they take to work?”

“They’ll start working immediately. You’ve already been taking a different one, but it doesn’t work against the type of bacteria that are infecting you.”

Sakura looked very interested. It was clear that this type of medicine would work wonders at home.

“Call me if you need anything. Shall I leave the door open or shut?”

“Shut please,” Kakashi and Sakura said at the same time. The nurse gently closed the door and they were alone again.

“You didn’t want to read in front of her. Why not?”

“Snow’s censorship laws are even stronger than ours. They don’t sell this type of book here.”

Sakura laughed. “What do you think she would have done if you’d started reading?”

“I don’t know. Thrown us onto the street?”

“So you’re admitting it’s smutty.”

“Sure it’s smutty. But that doesn’t change the fact that you’re enjoying it, Sakura-chan.”

“Are you finished?”

“Yes. I think so. So long as we’ve established the facts.” Sakura swung her arm blindly and landed a rather satisfying punch. Kakashi groaned theatrically, but began to read again.

It seemed more likely that she was either dead, or that she’d faked the kidnapping.

‘What else can you tell me about your niece, other than she’s young, beautiful and innocent?’

‘She’s betrothed, and has been since birth, to an older man in the next village. He visits once a month, always chaperoned, of course.’

‘How does she feel about marrying this man?’

‘Midori is a girl who understands the role of family alliances. She has never protested, or said an unkind word.’

‘Does she have any male friends?’

‘Jinrai, friend, I know that you have to ask these questions, but I am finding them offensive. Midori knows only the people in this compound– her family, our servants, and the small circle of friends who visit our home.’

‘And no one else enters your home?’ Jinrai thought this unusual. Most compounds of this size would take delivery of meats, vegetables and dry goods. Midori would therefore be exposed to quite a few people besides the ones Koji had named.

Koji stood. It was clear he was finished with this conversation. ‘Find her kidnapper, Jinrai. I will pay you handsomely. Twice your normal purse. But first dine with me, and allow me to accommodate you for the evening. You can start at first light.’

Jinrai left Koji’s residence as the sun dawned, eager to begin his mission. He’d spend the morning in town. The early morning markets were full of gossiping women who might be able to fill in the details about Midori. A map of the area would be useful, too. He’d need to seek out a newsstand or bookstore. And a trip to the neighborhood bars was essential– surely some of the townsfolk had noticed any unusual comings and goings near the Nakawa compound. He’d talk to the guards posted at the gate, as well– it was likely they would have seen something.

His efforts quickly paid off. The town was abuzz with talk of the Nakawa girl’s disappearance and almost every villager he approached had something to say about it. He quickly found out that the girl was not at all as Koji had described. Apparently she was seen in town quite often, and had frequented several of the bars Jinrai had visited. She was in love, he learned, with the butcher’s apprentice. They must have met during a delivery. Jinrai visited the butcher shop and learned that indeed the apprentice was missing. However, he had not disappeared the day that Midori did. He’d only gone missing 4 days ago.

She’d been leading a double-life, that was certain. But this piece of the puzzle did not fit. If she were leaving to elope, she would have left with the apprentice. Perhaps she had been kidnapped. Jinrai hurried to talk with the guards that manned the gate.

One had seen something strange that night. Only visitors entering the town were queried, so he hadn’t learned their names, but a group of six people had left the town at three a.m. on the night Midori had disappeared. They’d been dressed in dark colors, and had worn hooded jackets, so the guard hadn’t gotten a good look at them.

‘Do you remember which way they headed?’

The guard pointed south. ‘They took the road heading into the mountains.’

Jinrai thanked the guard profusely, and headed in the direction he had pointed.

It was easy to track them, as they were clearly amateurs. Jinrai was amused at the thought that five of them had been needed to take the girl, and that they’d actually walked through the town’s main gate. It was almost as though they had wanted to be seen. That, or they were extremely stupid. Jinrai quickly found the place where they’d left the road. The ferns were trampled into a path that was quite easy to discern.

By nightfall he had found them. They had been brazen enough to light a fire, but did not appear to have mounted a watch. All sat facing the fire. All except Midori, that is. She was tied to a tree, her eyes wild looking, her silk kimono torn--

“Strategically, I’m sure. Is there an illustration?”

“Of course, Sakura. Shall I describe it for you?”

“Let me guess– then you can tell me if I’m correct. She looks like Tsunade, of course, but with brown hair and green eyes, and the kimono is torn at the shoulder, exposing one breast.”

“So close! Both breasts are showing. And they’re Tsunade-size, of course. But the kimono is ripped on one side all the way to the hips.”

“Figures.”

Jinrai caught Midori’s eye, and held a finger to his mouth to indicate that she should remain silent. She nodded almost imperceptibly, then looked away. Jinrai sized up the situation, then attacked.

They were amateurs. Thugs, perhaps, but definitely not ninja. Not even former army. Jinrai’s kunai flew with precision, pinning two to nearby trees and hitting another in the jugular. He lodged a shuriken in the windpipe of the fourth and in the femoral artery of the last. Jinrai drew his katana to strike a death blow to the two pinned to the trees, then turned to Midori. Her eyes were wide with fear, and it was directed at him.

‘W-w-who are you?’ She stammered.

‘Does it matter?’ was his terse reply.

With a single flick of his kunai he sliced her ropes cleanly through. She fell into his arms. She was more beautiful than he’d expected. She didn’t resemble Koji at all. Her hair was the color of autumn chestnuts, her eyes a golden green, and catlike. She pressed against him, shuddering. Soon his shirt was wet with her tears.

“Did they hurt you?” he asked.

“They were about to. My– my– boyfriend came upon them this morning and they– they--” Her eyes filled with tears.

“Where is he?”

She pointed. “Over there. It was... horrible.” She held him more tightly. “I feel like I’ve died, too. Please. Please show me I’m still alive.” His lips met hers and found them willing and eager. She flicked her tongue against his, seeking entry--

“He’s really going to do his friend’s niece?”

“Looks that way.” Kakashi smiled at Sakura’s choice of words.

“That’s just not right!”

“What do you mean?” His voice was guarded. Kakashi was sure she was about to bring up the fact that Midori was a girl of sixteen, while Jinrai was quite a bit older.

“She’s his friend’s niece. She’s engaged, Kakashi, and she has a lover. Had a lover.”

“So what difference does a third make? It’s a work of fiction, Sakura, not real life.” She hadn’t mentioned the age difference. Could it really not matter to her?

“Hmm. I guess you have a point. I’ll suspend my disbelief.”

Jinrai lowered her to the ground, tearing off her ruined garment as he did so. He caressed her bruised flesh gently, and honored her with passionate kisses. He’d make her forget her pain, for a while, at least. She deserved nothing less. He rained kisses as gentle as hummingbird wings along her jawline, then moved lower to caress her exquisite collarbones--

“Are you sure you want me to keep reading this? The next part is really dirty.”

“You know, I didn’t torture you when you were sick in bed.”

Yes, you did. You have no idea, Sakura.

“Reading a perverted old man his favorite book is a lot different than tarnishing the virtue of an innocent young woman.”

“You’re not old, Kakashi, and whoever said I was innocent?”

“We’ll finish tomorrow. It’s getting late.”

“Okay.” She seemed disappointed but tried to cover it by changing the subject to focus on him. “You must be starved. Please go get something to eat.”

She looked beautiful lying there with her eyes closed. He’d never noticed how impossibly long her eyelashes were. Kakashi leaned in to kiss Sakura on the cheek. She turned her head away as he did so, not aware of his intention. His kiss landed squarely on her lips, surprising them both. He pulled back quickly, and noticed the blush in her cheeks.

“I’m sorry, Sakura.”

“Don’t be.” She touched her finger to her lips and rubbed them lightly. “It felt nice.”

If you are under age 18, you should not be reading this. At least not the “mature” parts.

Chapter 27– Dreams and Icha, Icha, Part 2

What a day it had been. Kakashi shifted in the uncomfortable, vinyl-clad armchair next to Sakura’s bed to gaze at her. His face softened as he noticed how peacefully she was sleeping. He’d never guessed when they’d entered the hospital early that morning that the worst day of his life would end up as the best. He’d been beside himself with anxiety and self-loathing when he’d finally entered the building, thinking of ways he might exit, too, should Sakura take leave of her body. He’d known he wouldn’t return to Konoha without her, that there would be no point continuing the shadow of existence she’d so brilliantly set into contrast in recent weeks. Kakashi had realized without a doubt how incomplete he would be without her.

And then, miraculously, she had come around. Her fever had gone down, her headache had disappeared, and her clever, insightful mind seemed undamaged-– the worst was over. Yes, her eyesight was not back to normal, but that was nothing, comparatively speaking. Even if Junko was unable to restore it (and from her talk, this seemed unlikely, as she hadn’t been too concerned over it), Kakashi had realized that a sightless Sakura wouldn’t be any less loved by him. Of course, Sakura would struggle with it, but if worse came to worst, he’d be by her side to help in any way he could. He’d stay with her no matter what.

For the first time, Kakashi realized, someone he loved had survived the curse that seemed to dog him since his childhood. Until this day, everyone he’d ever gotten close to had died a horrible, violent death. As a shinobi, to be witness to such deaths was common, but every shinobi lost at least a few loved ones to natural causes, and to peaceful, gentle deaths. And every almost every shinobi he knew had a circle of living friends or relatives who could be counted on to persist in living and dying in the normal fashion, whether their lives ended up being short or long. Every shinobi except Kakashi, that is. But now the curse that had crippled Kakashi was broken. He’d been able to save his loved one, the person most precious to him. He could love, and not be punished for doing so. Kakashi allowed himself to revel in the intense feeling of joy this realization produced in him. Tomorrow he would tell Sakura how he felt. If the look she had given him earlier in the day meant anything, it seemed possible she felt the same way.

And then there was the kiss. It had been unintentional on his part, but he was glad his lips had brushed against hers, however briefly. His only regret was that he had been wearing the mask. He longed to feel her lips against his, flesh on flesh, with no self-imposed barrier to intimacy. Even through the thin, silk knit of the mask he had felt their softness, their warmth, their promise of sensual bliss. He had no doubt that kissing Sakura would be a heavenly experience.

For Kakashi, like most men, sex was easy to separate from intimacy. He’d had many satisfying sexual experiences (for both him and each partner), but he’d never allowed any relationship (if these time-limited experiences could even be called that) to progress beyond a one-night stand. Despite this, the sex had been mind-blowing at times. Even so, a part of him had always held back during these occasions, unwilling to completely lose control the way one can with a true lover. With Sakura, Kakashi knew it would be different. He was looking forward to finally losing control, to opening up to her, to being trusting and vulnerable with her. She was so passionate in everything she did– he had no doubt she would bring that to their love-making. He couldn’t wait to please her, to be truly one with her in both body and spirit.

A shinobi wasn’t vulnerable, of course, not as a rule, anyway. One took every step to keep the thick, steel plates of isolation up and intact, because any chink in one’s armor could and would be exploited. But even the rules that guided shinobi were made to be broken, depending on the situation. That had been a hard lesson to learn, but Kakashi finally had taken it to heart, and had lived his life by it, since Obito’s death. On team seven’s very first “real” mission (to use Naruto’s term), Kakashi had demonstrated his willingness to be vulnerable for the sake of his team. Not emotionally vulnerable, of course (he’d deemed that much too dangerous), but physically. He’d promised his apprentices that he’d protect them with his own life. He’d promised to do the thing that had made him despise his father for so many years– to interpret the rules situationally, to use judgement to determine the best course of action. To put the team before the mission, if necessary. And of course, he’d delivered on this promise, over and over.

Being vulnerable with Sakura therefore wasn’t a problem, although it was definitely a new type of vulnerability for Kakashi. He would just be taking it to the next level, he told himself. It would probably make him a better ninja, in fact, for it would truly remind him of the reason for his life’s work. Protecting the village was an abstract concept when one had no ties to it. As a result, it could be difficult to embrace this concept, and it was all too easy to become burnt out. Kakashi had teetered on the brink of burn-out many times, relying on his innate tenacity to push on despite the increasingly hollow feeling that threatened to encompass him at those times. But with Sakura by his side, the reason he’d agreed to use his body and mind as a tool for the greater good would be concrete, real, palpable.

Kakashi tilted his head back slightly against the wall behind him, and did his best to get comfortable, letting his mind to conjure up erotic (and Icha, Icha-influenced) fantasies starring himself and one Haruno Sakura. A small smile played across his lips as his encyclopedic (and eidetically graphic) memory supplied venues and props, as well as breathtakingly accurate portrayals of the woman he loved.

He was jarred awake by a buzzing noise, an urgent sound in sync with the ominously flashing light on the panel to Sakura’s right side. An older nurse rushed in, and quickly flipped the lights on, surveying the scene in front of her with expert eyes. Kakashi blinked, his uncovered eye temporarily squinting under the bright illumination. For a moment he felt an adrenaline-fueled rush of terror accompanied by a wave of nausea, as the blood was rapidly pushed out of his torso in a fight-or-flight response. Then he felt, rather than saw the nurse suddenly relax.

“It’s only her oxygen monitor. The clip slipped off her finger.” The nurse reset the panel and securely reattached the small, grey clip to Sakura’s index finger, continuing to talk to Kakashi as she did so. “I assume you didn’t do this. She must have shifted while she was sleeping.”

Yes, that must have been what happened. Sakura was now on her side— she’d been lying supine when he’d taken the chair not that long ago. “How did you get here so fast? Could you hear the buzzer all the way at the nurse’s station?”

“This is a telemetry unit. The computers at the nurse’s station log all of the data produced by these machines and alert us if anything is amiss.”

Kakashi felt relief wash over him. It was clear Sakura was in good hands, false alarm or no. He looked at Sakura, still sleeping peacefully, and noticed that her hospital gown gapped open at the back. Kakashi felt absolutely no embarrassment at taking a quick peek at Sakura’s derriere. Absolutely beautiful, he thought, just like the rest of her. He hadn’t allowed himself the pleasure of gazing at her naked body, despite his close proximity during the several baths she’d been given recently, and he felt calmed by the normalcy of doing so now. Sakura would probably call it perverted, he knew, but he really didn’t care. She seemed to have a bit of a perverted streak herself– one definitely worth exploring further. As his eye scanned up her back, Kakashi noticed the skin on either side of her spine was slightly red, although it did not appear warm to his touch.

“Is this anything to be concerned about?” he asked the nurse, running his finger along Sakura’s spine.

The nurse covered Sakura up with the bed’s thin, thermal blanket, nearly slapping Kakashi’s hand out of the way as she did so. She then gave Kakashi a long, withering glare, the type of look typically reserved for older men in the presence of young beauties. “She’s been lying on her back, which causes a bit of pressure,” she said finally, apparently deciding that Kakashi’s question did merit a response. “It’s normal for the skin to redden a bit.” She left abruptly, flipping off the light switch as she did so, and Kakashi tried his best to relax again, although he realized he wouldn’t be sleeping very deeply tonight. His senses were now on high alert. Sleep did finally take him, though, the type of sleep that is not restorative, in which one floats just under the surface, almost lucid.

He was in a coniferous forest, three kunai tucked between his gloved fingers, ready to strike at the smallest sound or movement. He’d pulled Sakura out of the path of immediate danger, and he knew that in only moments their last enemy would be no more. Kakashi used his free hand to push up his hitae-ate, readying himself for a final fight with his unnamed foe. His sharingan pointed out the genjutsu user easily, though Kakashi made no sign of this. The man had camouflaged himself against a tree. To any other eyes, he was part of the tree. The man didn’t react when Kakashi raised his hitae-ate– it seemed possible that he was unaware of the sharingan’s powers. All the better. Kakashi looked away from his target, and threw his first kunai far from the mark, intentionally, of course. The second, thrown while Kakashi’s face was still turned away, caught the man in the chest, opening a fountain of bright red arterial blood that spurted out vigorously in time with his pulse. Kakashi turned from the gruesome sight and knelt by Sakura, and did his best to remedy her wounds.

She was in horrible shape. Her face was covered in the blood produced by a gash in her forehead, and her shirt was soaked through, as well. Kakashi gingerly pulled back the thin, cotton fabric and gasped at what he saw. He was sure he would never get her back to Konoha in time, but he had no choice but to try. He could not heal her himself. Though his chakra control was exceptional, he was not a medic. He knew that chakra applied indiscriminately did more harm than good, even in life or death cases. Kakashi removed his own shirt, pressed it tightly around the wound and bound it to Sakura tightly with rope. He then picked her up and ran for her life.

It seemed like he was running forever, through forests familiar and strange, until finally he stopped, hearing Sakura moaning against him. He couldn’t make out her words– it was more of a plaintive wail. He set her down for a moment, to examine her and noticed that his impromptu bandage was soaked through. She must have lost several pints of blood by now. Her face was pale, her breathing labored, her keening continuous.

Suddenly, he was there, in Konoha hospital, but Sakura was gone, though the keening sound persisted. The hallway was familiar to him, though his perspective had changed with age. He now could see through the small windows in each door, though again he had no need to do so. He knew exactly where he was going, and he had no desire to go there. He pushed against the invisible force that pulled him forward, wishing the hall would stretch on forever, as it always had in previous dreams, wishing his feet still felt like they were stuck in viscous mud. He arrived at the double doors in almost no time, and he refused to press against them. They opened anyway, and he was once more in the stainless steel-bedecked laboratory. It was dark, though, except for the single pendant lamp that hung over one steel pedestal table. Again, Kakashi did his best to hold back. Again, something pulled him forward unwillingly. He fought it. He didn’t want to see the blood offering laid out on that cold, forbidding altar.

Her wrists were bandaged as they’d been before, and rested peacefully on the sheet which covered her. He reached out to touch her and was surprised to find that her hands were still warm. He picked up her hand, but dropped it immediately, on seeing that she was still oozing blood.

“Okaa-san?” His voice was shaky. Was she still alive?

His eyes scanned up her body. Her face was as beautiful as ever, her hair as black and soft as ravens’ wings. She looked peaceful. Then he heard someone speak. His mother’s eyes didn’t open and her body didn’t move.

“Kakashi. Why did you leave me?” It wasn’t her voice. Even overlaid with the keening noise that still filled the room with its monotonous shrieking, Kakashi was sure the voice he’d heard was not his mother’s. Kakashi looked away, his face filled with confusion as he realized the source of those words.

“Sakura?”

He looked back. It was his love who lay there now, her beautiful hair matted and caked with thick, dark blood, the sheet covering her crimson-stained. She was gone.

He woke up with a start, sweat-drenched, and struggled to banish the dream. The horrible sound that had filled his dream continued unabated. The monitor that had sounded earlier had gone haywire, itseemed. Kakashi flipped on the nearest light, and stood to examine Sakura. The oxygen sensor was still securely clipped to her finger. Where the hell was the nurse? She’d arrived immediately the last time the alarm had gone off. Kakashi reached for the call button, and pushed it several times.

A tired voice answered him. “The sensor is unclipped again, isn’t it?”

“No. Something is wrong.” Kakashi looked at Sakura. Her breathing seemed labored, as it had in his dream.

The nurse rushed in, accompanied by Junko. The medic took one look at the distressed kunoichi and began barking orders and asking questions.

“Hatake-san, did you notice anything out of the ordinary about Sakura tonight? Any changes that didn’t seem part of her improvement?”

“Her back looked slightly red, but I was told it was nothing to worry about.” The nurse standing next to Junko fidgeted at his words.

Junko gently moved Sakura onto her side, and peeled back the hospital gown. Sakura’s back was covered in tiny purple dots, which grew in number where her arms met her torso. “Was this what you saw?”

“No. It was only red.”

“Good. That gives us time.”

“Time for what?! What is going on?!”

“I’ll tell you once we move her. Have you set up the plasmapheresis unit? Inoue, make sure it’s ready to go. Where’s the oxygen tank I asked for?” Junko hurriedly affixed a mask to Sakura’s face and regulated the flow of oxygen. Then she and several orderlies moved Sakura to a gurney, placing several small monitors beside her on the narrow mattress. They rolled her quickly down the hall to the ICU.

Kakashi followed, heart in his mouth. This couldn’t be happening again.

“I thought she was better. She’s in ICU. Is she dying?” He was clearly shell shocked.

Junko had just finished intubating Sakura, and was now inserting lines into the large veins found at each inside elbow. These were to be hooked up to a large, complicated machine that dominated the room. Junko replied as soon as she finished with these tasks, turning the machine on as she spoke. “The antibiotic has started to work, and its working really well. Unfortunately, it appears that not only her brain and spinal cord were infected– her bloodstream has been under attack, as well. Before you brought her in, did you notice if her hands were cold?”

“Yes. She was burning up everywhere else, but her hands felt like blocks of ice.”

She nodded. “That fits. It’s really unusual for this to happen. The bacteria that cause meningitis can attack two ways. They can attack the brain, which definitely happened to Sakura, and this is what we were treating her for. But the bacteria can also attack the rest of the body and cause something called septicemia– an infection of the blood. Usually people with one form don’t get the other. But it does sometimes happen, and when it does, it can be hard to pick up on. The symptoms overlap quite a bit. And Sakura’s brain symptoms were so severe we didn’t notice the others.”

“So what’s happening?”

“The antibiotics are doing a great job killing the bacteria in her blood stream. But when the bacteria die, they release a powerful toxin. Because we didn’t make the right guess at the antibiotic when she was admitted, the bacteria had a lot of time to grow and reproduce. It only takes 20 minutes for bacteria to double in number, so Sakura has much, much more bacteria in her system now then when she was admitted, and they are releasing lots of toxin as they die. The toxin is making her capillaries porous, its and blood is leaking out. That’s the cause of the rash you saw. The toxin is also attacking her vital organs. That’s why she’s having trouble breathing. We’re lucky we caught it early. The toxin also wreaks havoc on the body’s clotting mechanism. That can cause massive clots in the outer arms and legs.”

“So what can you do?” Kakashi’s tone was emotionless, resigned.

“The machine I just hooked up will remove her plasma, which contains the toxin. We’ll replace it with clean plasma from donors. We also need to repair the damage the endotoxin has already done. I’ve called in four other medics to help me. Together we should be able to target every major organ, as well as her blood vessels. It will take hours, though.”

Kakashi said nothing, just collapsed in the chair by Sakura’s side.

“Hatake-san. All is not lost.”

He looked up, the light that usually danced across his eye dulled, his expressionunreadable.

“I can tell you are in love with her. I won’t let her be taken from you without a fight.”

The apheresis machine whirred smoothly as it spun and separated Sakura’s blood, removing the contaminated plasma while returning her own blood cells and fresh, clean plasma to her body. The process would take about three hours, Junko had said, and it was possibleSakura would need additional treatments in the next few days. With five medics surrounding Sakura for hours at a time, there wasn’t room for Kakashi in the cramped, glass-walled ICU room. He had nowhere to go, however, and even if there was some form of diversion nearby, he wouldn’t have left. It was hard enough to be only meters apart from Sakura. Kakashi paced the halls nervously, staying close enough to the room to hear the comforting noise of the machine purifying Sakura’s blood. He fervently wished there was something, anything he could do to help.

If he’d believed in the many kami and household gods of Konoha he would have prayed. But Kakashi was not a religious man, nor could he even be accused of being spiritual. If someone had forced him to nail down his beliefs (which would be unlikely, given Kakashi’s skills at evasion), he might have claimed to be Zen Buddhist, if only because he saw no point in asking unknown entities for help. He’d prayed many times when he was younger– after his father’s and mother’s suicides, and after Obito’s horrible death. No kami had helped him, then. Even without formal Buddhist study, Kakashi knew that life was fleeting and full of change. This had been demonstrated to him over and over. He also knew, without tutelage, that life was full of suffering. His life was an object lesson in this. It defined suffering. It was suffering.

He’d been stupid to think it might change.

Maybe he was in hell. He’d never really believed such a place existed, but if it did, he was surely experiencing it. Perhaps he was already dead, and the past thirty eight years had been his punishment for crimes committed before that. His current hell provided him with enough successes to keep him from giving up completely, with enough intermittent pain to make his life a study in misery. The one thing he wanted, he couldn’t have. To love and be loved– and to have it last just a little while. Enough to truly experience it. Enough to savor it and be able to remember it. Damn it. He hadn’t even told her he loved her. He’d never even kissed her– not really. He hadn’t shown her what she meant to him. And she was dying. Junko hadn’t told him that she’d be okay. Her words had been measured. Heartfelt, to be sure, but measured nonetheless. She’d promised she’d fight, that she wouldn’t give up. Kakashi appreciated her honesty, and her unwillingness to give false hope, but her words cut deeply. Today had been the worst day of his life, and for a few, fleeting hours, the very best day of his life. Now he no longer wanted to live.

After several hours, the comforting whirr of the apheresis machine stopped, and the bulky machine was removed from the cramped room. Sakura’s blood was clean, now, at least. That was something, it had to be something. Kakashi slid down the wall he’d been leaning against, and propped his chin on his knees. The medics still surrounded Sakura, bent like widows at a traditional wake, fully obscuring his view of her. Each was intent on his or her work– no sounds emanated from the room apart from the soft rushing noise of the ventilator that assisted Sakura’s breathing. Kakashi listened intently to the noise, and did his best to focus on it, to calm himself through meditation.

After a while, he noticed it was near sunrise. He and Sakura had been at the hospital a full twenty-four hours, and the medics had been at her side for at least eight of those hours. Kakashi looked up from his post directly across from Sakura’s room, and noticed the medics in conversation. One stood, and the others followed. Kakashi rushed in immediately.

“Hatake-san, we’ve done our best. Our chakra is exhausted. These are all of my medics.” Junko sighed. “We’ll try again in twelve hours, once they’ve had time to rest. It’s up to Sakura, until then.” She looked at him critically. “Will you try to get some rest, as well?”

“Thank you for everything you’ve done.” Kakashi’s voice was hollow, his eyes unseeing. He collapsed into the chair.

Chapter 28– Realization

My throat hurts.

Sakura woke to a dimly lit room and the feel of something cool and soft on her forehead, and of foreign chakra infusing her. She slowly opened her eyes, registering that her vision was back to normal as she focused on the face of the medic perched on a stool by the side of her bed.

“Welcome back. You’ve been missed.” Junko’s voice was as soft as the hand that continued to pour chakra into Sakura’s system.

“What...” Her thought remained unvoiced. It was difficult to speak.

“You’re through the worst of it, now, Sakura. It was touch and go for a while, though.”

Sakura blinked as she tried to piece together recent events. She remembered waking in a room with a window, Kakashi beside her, holding her hand as her spinal canal had been punctured, and the comforting sound of his voice as he’d read Icha, Icha to her. But not much else. She gingerly turned her head in the bed, afraid of the possible return of headache that had plagued her. This room was different, she was certain of it, even though she had only a blurry recollection of the last one. There was no window here, and the other room had felt larger. Kakashi was here, though, head tipped back to touch the wall behind him, slouched in a recliner that was too small for his height, orange book nowhere in sight. He seemed to be out cold.

“We’ll be sending you back to a regular room, soon. I thought you might need another round of plasmapheresis, but your blood tested clean. There’s no need for you to stay in the ICU any more.” Junko tipped her head toward Kakashi. “He hasn’t willingly left your side. Not once. Even when we had to force him out of the room so that we could work on you, he stayed right outside your door. He’s been sleeping for at least twelve hours straight.”

“He does that.” Sakura’s voice croaked. She must have been intubated, she realized. What exactly had happened to her? She felt as though a small rodent had been trapped inside her throat, and had died trying to claw its way out. That would explain the terrible taste in her mouth, as well. “He has a tendency to push himself to exhaustion. I guess he thinks he’s invincible.”

“It’s not that. You’re very lucky, you know.” Sakura did not see the wistful look in the older medic’s eyes.

“Yes. I know. If we hadn’t been near Snow Country, I would have died, wouldn’t I? I guess that little girl did. Fire has no way to treat a disease like bacterial meningitis. You must think we’re completely uncivilized.”

Junko laughed. “Not at all. The time I spent training in Fire was some of the best years of my life. I learned from the best, including your mentor. And your people are a lot more open and friendly than mine.” She paused, as though trying to make up her mind. “When you’re feeling better, I’d like to show you around the lab. I don’t think there’s any law against me telling a patient how we cured her.” Junko winked. “Our country is very secretive, but there are always loopholes.”

“I’d really like that. There’s obviously a lot I could learn, and it could save the lives of my countrymen. But you’ve already done so much for me.”

“I have no doubt you or Tsunade would do the same for one of us.”

Sakura smiled at the woman. She was so different from Tsunade. It was hard to imagine them as friends, though apparently they’d stayed in contact over the years.

“That’s not what I was talking about, you know.” There was a light in Junko’s warm eyes.

“What?”

“I said you were lucky. But I didn’t mean you were lucky to survive, although that’s certainly true.”

Sakura looked at Junko questioningly.

“I meant that you are lucky to have someone who cares so deeply about you.”

“We’ve known each other for a long time. Kakashi was my first sensei once I graduated from the Academy.”

Junko smiled. “Are you sure he’s not more than that?”

Sakura flushed as she reflected on these words. “He’s my closest friend, I guess, although I wouldn’t have said that a month ago. Something kept us apart for quite a while.”

“Sakura, you know as well as I do how the hospital rips away any privacy a patient has. We medics see things that are hidden in normal life. I’ve seen a lot of couples who claimed to be in love– who said it loudly and boldly. But real love is completely selfless, and dedicated to the other. It speaks through its actions– it doesn’t need to proclaim itself to others. It’s evident to anyone who looks for it. I’m sorry to say that I’ve seen that type of love demonstrated fewer times than I care to admit.”

“So what do you see here?”

“I don’t think I can answer that. But Tsunade has written over and over about what an intelligent, observant woman you are.” She winked as she rose from Sakura’s side. “Orderlies will be in fairly soon to move you.”

“Can’t I walk to the new room?”

Junko chuckled. “I said you were through the worst of it, not done with it.”

Sakura frowned. “Not even a wheelchair?”

“Tomorrow. If it’s warm out, I’ll even let you go outside for a while. We have very nice grounds, and the crocuses are coming up.” She turned off the monitors beside Sakura. “I’m happy to say we won’t be needing these anymore.”

“What about food? I’m starved.”

“You don’t get to be a patient very often, do you? When you get back to your room, a nurse will remove your IV line and catheter, you’ll get a sponge bath, and someone will come by with a menu. Just don’t expect the food to be too exciting, at first.”

“Yippee. No more catheter.” Being a patient really was humiliating. There was no denying it. “How long have I been here, anyway?”

“Only about a day and a half. Has it seemed like an eternity?” She chuckled as she moved toward the door. “I’ll check in on you tomorrow morning.”

Once the door was shut, Sakura waited for a few minutes, then gently removed the probes from her skin. Next she carefully pulled the IV line from her arm. She applied chakra as she did so to quell the small amount of bleeding which was sure to follow, and sighed in relief. Why wait for the nurses when she could do this herself, and thereby maintain some of her dignity? She was beginning to understand Kakashi better and better, she thought. With a careful pull, the catheter was gone, as well. She chuckled softly as she remembered Kakashi, bare-assed in his hospital gown, attempting to leave the Konoha hospital not so long ago.

Sakura rose carefully from the bed and over to the room’s tiny sink. Bathrooms were not a standard part of an ICU room, which was a pity right now. The room’s sink did not even have a mirror hanging over it– it was strictly a utilitarian fixture. Where was her toothbrush? She glanced over at the still-sleeping Kakashi and saw a brown paper bag at his feet. Success. She tiptoed over and retrieved the bag, finding two toothbrushes and some toothpaste within, as well as the hairbrush he’d used earlier on her. It had felt so nice when he’d untangled her hair, so gentle, so intimate. She scrubbed her teeth twice, not satisfied with her first effort, as she was sure the dead animal taste was lingering in her mouth, and thought about Kakashi as she did so. She felt so incredibly... comfortable around him. That was the word. They hadn’t been in each other’s company for years, but over the past month she had grown to feel as though they’d never been apart. Sakura lay down on her bed and turned so that she could look at Kakashi.

She had never seen him so exhausted, apart from the times when he’d been comatose due to overuse of the sharingan. He had always been the one who woke first on missions, typically before the first hint of dawn, even after taking one of the night watches, and he had always been the one to sleep most lightly, ready to react if there were any unusual sounds or signals. But right now he was out cold, lightly snoring, though his mask muffled the sound. Sakura remembered the missions they’d been on during the time of team seven, and later, team Kakashi. The man had demonstrated countless times that he could be completely exhausted, yet still be more alert than the rest of the team. What did it mean that he was so drained right now? Sakura lifted her hand close to his face, and snapped her fingers three times. No response. He was dead to the world.

What had he been through these last few days? She should have detained Junko for a bit longer and found out exactly what had happened to her. But she’d seemed busy, and as a medic herself, Sakura had a good idea of how full her schedule probably was.

“Are you sure he’s not more than that?”

Junko’s words rung in Sakura’s ears as she continued to stare at the copy ninja. What was she to Kakashi? She’d been hospitalized before, but no one had ever kept vigil by her bedside. Kakashi’s behavior had been so different in the month or so they’d been interacting, very different from that the man she’d known eight years earlier. True, he was still aloof, he still read the completely inappropriate orange books he’d always read, and he was still the strongest jounin, by far, in Konoha– and quite possibly elsewhere, as well. But he was different. He’d opened himself up to her. Sakura had seen his face, something she knew few others had seen, but even more importantly, she’d seen parts of his inner self that she was sure no one else had seen. Kakashi hadn’t been upset that she’d seen some of his most private memories. And the way he’d treated her since then had been completely foreign to her. He’d shown concern and self-restraint when her neighbor was revealed as a voyeur, and he’d given up his comfort and privacy in allowing her to stay with him. Then he’d gone one step further– a giant step further– in planning a vacation for her. He’d obviously put some thought into it. It wasn’t the hastily thrown together affair that most ninja found themselves calling R and R, but a real holiday, where they could get away from everything in Konoha and act like civilians for a while. Kakashi had but time and effort into this plan, too. He’d found a location where Sakura trees were still blooming, as well as the nicest resort Sakura had ever stayed at. He’d gone to the trouble to bring along his family’s garments– clothing that had special memories attached, even if Kakashi had never seen his parents wearing them. He thought enough of her to allow her to wear his mother’s kimono.

So, what was she to him?

She turned her head to look at the ninja, whose head was still craned back against the wall. There was no way he could be comfortable in that chair, in that position. Sakura pressed the button on the bed’s side rail, to slowly incline her mattress until her head rose to Kakashi’s level. He was sitting to her right, however, and his hitae-ate and mask completely covered the profile facing her. His infamous orange book rested, open and face down across his thigh, and his left arm draped over the chair’s arm rest. Sakura reached for the only exposed flesh she saw, his hand, and took it in hers, rubbing it gently, feeling the between-the-fingers calluses that identified him as shinobi. His nails were trimmed neatly, though, cuticles smooth, not ragged. At first glance, Kakashi gave the impression of slovenliness, with his aura of lethargy, wild hair, rumpled clothes and inattentiveness, but it was clear, on closer inspection, that this was a front, like so much about him. She’d figured this out the first time she’d entered his apartment, and seen how orderly (almost anal-retentive in its cleanliness and organization, actually) it was. Kakashi was a deliberate man. This had been made clear the first day of their training, when Naruto tried, ineffectually, to get the bell from him. Everything he’d done that day had been for a reason, and it was always thus. Kakashi thought things through. He made plans and counter-plans. If anything, he over-planned. His plans had included Sakura, of late. Just what did this mean?

Was he in love with her? This obviously was what Junko was implying. But what would the medic know? Had she talked to him? It didn’t seem possible that Kakashi would have shared something like that with him, even if he had been upset, or out of it, or exhausted. They were strangers, after all, and Kakashi was less than open with people he’d known for years, people he might even consider to be friends. But Junko was right when she said that the medical profession laid people and their relationships bare. Sakura had seen many overt signs of affection, passion and desperation from family members of the gravely ill, and she had recognized many more subtle signs as well. Junko’s observation could not, therefore, be dismissed so easily.

Sakura shook her head. There was no way Junko could be correct. Kakashi in love with her?

Entertain the idea for a moment, Sakura. Doesn’t the evidence fit? Removing his mask. Letting you stay with him. Taking you to Kawahana. Nursing you when you were ill. Somehow getting you to Snow Country and staying by you side, apparently not eating or sleeping for 36 hours. Doesn’t it fit? What else could it be, Sakura?

A mentor looking after his former student, nothing more. Kakashi always put himself in harm’s way for us.

But, no, that just didn’t fit. He’d never done anything like this for Sasuke or Naruto. Both of them were better students, more talented than she. If this were a student-teacher thing, she wouldn’t be on the receiving end. She was sure of it. And if he were eager to put himself in harm’s way for her, where had he been these past eight years?

This just doesn’t make sense.

Does it need to? Why do you have to be so analytical?

Because–

Because you’re afraid. You’‘re intellectualizing because you’ve never been in love.

There’s Sasuke– doesn’t he count for something?

You said it yourself. It was puppy love. Real love isn’t like that. And even if you did love him, he didn’t love you back.

Right, so I don’t know what it feels like to be loved– not in that way. And who said I was in love, anyway?

What if you are? Would that be so horrible?

How on earth would I even know?

Do you want to be around him? Does he make you smile? If he disappeared tomorrow, how would you feel?

I...

When he kissed you, didn’t you like it?

It felt nice.

Is that how it felt? “It felt nice.” And it snows a bit here, too. Just a bit.

It felt... right. Is that what you want to hear?

I know it felt right. I was there. The way I remember it, you wanted more, your heart beat a little more rapidly, your breath quickened...

Right. Those are signs of infatuation. Infatuation isn’t love.

No, but most love does start with infatuation. Admit it, the man is incredibly gorgeous.

Hmm. Sakura smiled to herself. He is. But–

Here comes the rationalization!

He’s a pervert. Whenever I’m around water, he’s there, just in time to see me naked.

So? He’s a man, after all, and he’s attracted to you. And you seem to be a bit of a pervert yourself.

Go away.

Sakura realized she was squeezing Kakashi’s hand. Rather hard, in fact, though he hadn’t woken up.He murmured her name.

“Kakashi?”

He didn’t answer, and Sakura realized he must still be sleeping. She rose from her bed, and moved to Kakashi’s other side. His eye was moving under its lid– apparently he was dreaming. Of her. His dream didn’t seem peaceful, either. He slid down in his chair as he muttered her name again. She noticed his hands were clenched.

“Don’t. Please, don’t.” There was urgency in his voice.

This is intrusive. I shouldn’t be watching this.

Sakura attempted to move away, but his hand reached out and grabbed her. She averted her eyes, ashamed to be eavesdropping on his inner conversations.

“Kakashi? Wake up.”

“This can’t be happening again. Please, take me to her.” He tugged on her arm, and Sakura turned to look at him. A tear slid from under his closed lid, and slowly made its way across the small expanse of uncovered skin above his mask. Sakura lightly ran her finger over the salty track it made, stopping at his mask. It was wet, she realized, as was his hitae-ate. She removed them both, and wiped his face with the hem of her cotton gown.

“It’s okay, Kakashi. It’s only a dream.”

“Sakura. Don’t leave me.” His voice cracked as he whispered.

“I won’t leave you, Kakashi.” She found herself leaning over him, kissing his cheek over and over as she murmured soothing words. “It’s just a dream, Kakashi. Everything’s going to be okay.”

“Sakura?”

Sakura’s eyes widened as she pulled back to stare into Kakashi’s fully open, but somewhat confused eyes. She flushed immediately and tried to back away further, only to be pulled rather abruptly into his arms.

He crushed his lips against her. This was nothing like the accidental kiss of the night before. Sakura felt the passion bubbling up from deep within the copy ninja and from her, as well. After several moments he broke the kiss, and pulled her closer, to rest his head on her shoulder. She struggled to calm herself down. She had never felt like this before.

“Don’t ever leave me, Sakura. I don’t think I could bear it.”

“Kakashi, what are you talking about? Why would I leave you?”

“You were dying, Sakura.”

Her illness had been that bad? Why hadn’t Junko told her? “Dying?” She pulled back, raising his head to look into his eyes. “Dying? I thought I was better--”

“I’ve been crazy with worry. I dreamt–“

“I’m right here, Kakashi. I’m not going anywhere.”

He was fully awake now, and suddenly fully cognizant of the fact that Sakura was leaning into him, dressed only in her hospital gown. He looked at her, and noticed no IV, no tubes or wires of any kind. His voice held a hint of concern, if not outright annoyance. “What are you doing out of bed?”

“I’m done with intensive care. They’re sending me back to a regular room. Good news, huh?”

“Get in bed. Now.”

“Kakashi–“

“Sakura, don’t argue with me about this. Just do it.” I am not going to lose you again.

She climbed into the bed, a bit confused and more than a bit irritated. Sakura turned away from Kakashi as she tried to make sense out of what had just occurred. She’d comforted him, and in doing so, awakened him. They’d shared a passionate kiss, he’d told her never to leave him, and then ordered her into her bed. But apparently not for the reasons one might assume, given the circumstances. Had their kiss upset him? Was it horrible? She really had no way of knowing. Who knew what was going through his mind. Whatever his reasons, he was acting as though it hadn’t happened. “You know, Kakashi,” she said, finally. “I remember, not too long ago, that you pulled out your IV and catheter and tried to make a run for it. I only did the first two things. What’s the problem? Why are you holding me to a different standard?” Same old Kakashi. She sighed.

“I didn’t nearly die, Sakura. That’s what the problem is.” He collapsed into his chair, and held his head in his hands, his fingers tugging at the strands that fell into his eyes. “How much do you remember, Sakura?”

“Not much.” Her voice softened. “Why don’t you tell me everything.”

“You got sick at the cherry blossom festival.”

“I remember that.”

“Then you developed a fever and splitting headache. Light bothered you. You felt like you were on fire, but your hands and feet were icy cold. I tried bathing you to cool you down, and each time I did, it worked for a little while. You became delirious and agitated. I called in a doctor and he said you would die. He mentioned Snow Country might be able to cure you, so I carried you there.”

“How far?”

“Does it matter?”

“Actually, it does.”

“Do you think I wouldn’t have carried you if it was too far?”

“No. I think you would have died trying. That’s not why I asked.”

He refused to answer. “I sent Pakkun with a message to Tsunade. She got us entry into Snow, and told me to find Junko. By the time we got to the hospital, your fever was at the point where you were about to develop brain damage.” He looked away from her, and paused.

“But I didn’t.”

“I was terrified, Sakura. If I had left a half-hour earlier, you would have been in no danger.”

“How many kilometers did you travel, Kakashi?”

“Sixty.”

“Sixty? You ran, didn’t you?” He nodded. “You ran a marathon– no, more than a marathon-- no doubt in record time, considering the load you were carrying, yet you berate yourself. You did it, Kakashi. You saved my life.”

“Right. They treated you, chilled you, and you were doing much better, except for your vision. Junko was sure everything was fine, and you seemed fine to me. And then...”

“What, Kakashi?”

“Your body began to shut down. As they died, the bacteria released poisons into your system. Five medics burned their chakra at both ends to bring you back– and still they weren’t sure it was enough.”

“And you waited, and waited.” She looked at the worry still evident on his face. “And you blamed yourself, didn’t you, Kakashi?” He didn’t respond. His face closed, assuming the stoic expression he so often wore.

“You saved my life, Kakashi.” He shook his head, as he gazed steadfastly at his knees.

“You have an amazing talent at turning white into black. I swear, you could take the most glorious day and turn it rainy and desolate. The fact is, Kakashi, you saved my life. Admit it. Even if I had died later, Kakashi, you saved my life. Period.”

“You don’t understand.” The words were barely audible.

“I think I do.”

“Then tell me, Sakura. Tell me what I’m feeling.” His voice was harsh.

She looked at him, and was silent for a few minutes as she collected her thoughts.

“You think you deserve to be unhappy. You think you tempted fate by becoming... close to me. You felt you were being punished, and that you will be punished. You are afraid that I will die tonight, or tomorrow, or sometime soon, and that–“

“Stop. You have no idea how I feel.”

“Then let me tell you how I feel.” Her voice rose as she spoke passionately. “Hatake Kakashi, you came back into my life after eight years of loneliness. I don’t know if you meant to, but you hurt me when you left. You were my closest friend, and you abandoned me, and when you came back to Konoha you treated me as though we’d never known each other. Then you came back from your last mission, and suddenly we were friends again. I realized how much I had missed you. Kakashi, this month has been worth more to me than the eight years before it. There’s no comparison. If you died tomorrow, the pain I would feel would be indescribable. But it would be worth every tear, because I’d have memories of you. I’ve lost people, too, Kakashi. I know what it feels like. But I can’t stop living because I’m afraid it will happen again. You showed me that. I did stop living eight years ago. And you brought me back. I’m not going to live as though I were dead anymore. Kakashi, I think–“

“I don’t deserve your friendship, Sakura.”

“Kakashi, I think I’m falling in love with you.”

“What?” His face showed his incredulity.

Sakura shrank back into her pillow as she saw the look on her former teacher’s face. She had been wrong about his feelings, and she’d just made a terrible fool of herself. She stammered. “Kakashi, gomen. Forget I said it. I know you wouldn’t–“

Her next words went unheard, as Kakashi pressed his lips against her, more gently this time. He kissed her, savoring the softness of her against him, and the beautiful smell of her skin, which somehow wasn’t overpowered by the smell of disinfectant that lingered in the building. Finally, he pulled away and touched his forehead to hers. “I never thought I’d hear you say that, Sakura. I never thought you’d feel the same way I do.”

“Apparently, I do.”

“You don’t think I’m too old?”

“Only if you don’t think I’m too young.”

“And this doesn’t feel weird to you?”

“Kakashi, I’ve never been in love before. Of course it feels weird. But not because of our ages, or because you were my teacher, half my lifetime ago. It’s just new, that’s all.”

“I’ve never been in love before, either, Sakura.”

“Then we’ll stumble though it together, I guess.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, a small smile gracing her features. “I haven’t had a lot of practice, you know, at kissing and stuff. So you’ll have to teach me.” She giggled as she gently touched his lips with her own. “I’m a very good student, you know.”

“How could I forget?”

Chapter 29–Tranquility– Seventh Date

Brilliant light and a soft, grunting noise awakened Sakura. She was back in the post-op wing of the hospital, she remembered, which explained the window, the bright light and hideous curtains, as well as the larger size of the room. The noise, though, was a mystery. Sakura rolled over, noticing the bed next to her was empty, though definitely it had been slept in. A fawning nurse had suggested, the night before, that Kakashi take the empty bed, as there were quite a few empty beds on the ward, and small possibility of a suddenly influx of patients. Strictly speaking, it was against hospital policy to allow visitors to bed down, but she was willing to look the other way. She’d said this in a flirtatious tone, after using quite a different tone to thoroughly dress down Sakura for removing her IV and catheter. She’d had no right to do so, medic or no, the nurse had huffed. What if they’d suddenly needed to give her fluids? The nurse had turned to Kakashi and smiled winningly, seemingly commiserating with him over the fact that he had such a uncooperative ward, or niece, or daughter. Kakashi had taken out his book, ignoring her, though he didn’t turn a single page in the five minutes the nurse remained in the room, reminding Sakura of her responsibilities as a patient. He’d sighed a few times, though, which had made Sakura giggle.

Where was he now? Sakura sat up, looked down, and finally located the source of the guttural noises.

“What are you up to?”

“Two hundred twelve,” Kakashi replied, not at all out of breath. “Thought I should get in at least the bare minimum of training.” Sakura fondly remembered the times, as a twelve-year old, that she’d sat on his back to provide additional weight. She’d never mastered the one-fingered push-up. None of team seven had, apart from their sensei. Kakashi’s slim form was quite deceiving, belying tremendous strength and endurance.

“Such a hard ass.”

“How would you know, Sakura?” She blushed, remembering their passionate kisses of the night before. He continued with his pushups, a wicked smile fixed under his mask.

“How did you sleep?” It was better to ignore his suggestive comments, she thought.

“Wonderfully. It’s amazing what a difference a mattress makes. Now if only I could find something decent to eat.”

“You mean you don’t like rice gruel? It’s probably on the menu again. I’d be happy to give you mine, Kakashi. I just want some coffee.”

“I think it’s possible that you’re a worse patient than I am, Sakura,” the copy-nin chuckled. “You’re not going to ask me to smuggle some in, are you?”

Sakura lowered her brows at him. That had been her very next question.

“I guess I’ll see you in a while then. It’s been ages since I’ve had miso soup and saury for breakfast. Snow is known for its cuisine, you know.” He rose to his feet and headed to the door.

“Kakashi! You wouldn’t!”

“Relax, Sakura. I’ll be back in five minutes. I’m just going down to the cafeteria to round up something half-way edible.”

He was back in thirty minutes, time enough for a nutritious meal to be delivered and to cool off, uneaten, on Sakura’s nightstand. O-kayu. Again. She really didn’t know how anyone could stomach the texture of it. It was like wallpaper paste– gooey, sludgy and completely unappetizing. The scent of lilacs, on the other hand, was invigorating and refreshing. It preceded Kakashi’s entry into the room. His upper half was barely visible, given the enormous size of the bouquet he carried.

“Kakashi. Where on earth did you get these? It’s much too cold here for these to grow.” She leaned over to smell the blossoms as Kakashi moved the tray from her bedside and replaced it with the heavy vase. “They’re beautiful. I’ve never seen white lilacs before.”

“Snow imports goods from all over the world. Their flowers are grown in hothouses in the southern hemisphere.”

“How could that be cost efficient?” Kakashi did not answer. His parsimonious nature seemed to be nonexistent where Sakura was involved. He set a brown paper bag on by Sakura’s side.

“I thought you might like to try these.”

Sakura eagerly opened the bag. Inside were two heavenly-smelling, golden rolls.

“Pain au chocolat,” Kakashi explained. “There’s an interesting bakery right outside the hospital. It has all sorts of international delicacies. We’ll stop there for breakfast once they release you.”

Sakura bit into the croissant, which shattered as she did so, casting flakes of pastry all over her blanket. She moaned softly as she tasted the rich dark chocolate chunk at the center of the pastry. Kakashi pulled out the second roll and joined her in gustatory bliss. “You know what would make this perfect?” she asked.

“I’m guessing the answer to that is coffee. Sorry. I only have two hands.”

“There’s tea, at least. Would you like to share?”

Kakashi poured tea into the small ceramic cup that lay on Sakura’s breakfast tray, and offered it first to her, before drinking some himself. “I saw Junko on my way out. She’s planning on releasing you tomorrow.”

“Really?” Sakura nearly jumped out of the bed in her excitement.

“She wants to give you a tour of her lab later today. And she gave permission for me to take you outside for a little while. Do you think you’re up to it?”

“I’m bored to death, Kakashi! Of course I’m up to it!”

“You’ll be in a wheelchair, you realize. She was adamant. But at least you can wear street clothes.” He winked. “There’s no need for the hidden village to see your... attributes.”

Sakura blushed, and hopped out of the bed, making a beeline for the bathroom while clutching her hospital gown closed behind her. Kakashi heard the shower running, the vigorous brushing of teeth, and the somewhat familiar sounds of Sakura swearing, although the object of her outburst was unclear. He’d met no kunoichi with a vocabulary as rich and crude as hers. A moment later the door cracked open, and Sakura meekly asked if Kakashi would fetch her clothing. He considered not doing so for a moment. The hospital towels, he had noticed, were somewhat scanty. But, he reasoned, there would be plenty of time to see Sakura naked in the future, and plenty of time to play hospital, as well. Jiraiya had written several splendid hospital scenes, he recalled. Hopefully, Sakura would be game for a reenactment– she’d seemed to enjoy the Icha, Icha she’d read so far. He’d always liked how she looked in her medic’s uniform. If she just raised the hem a little bit, and lowered the neckline to show just a hint of cleavage, it would be perfect for what he had in mind.

His thoughts were interrupted as Sakura leaned her head out and cleared her throat. He quickly collected himself and tossed her clothes to her. She didn’t respond as he hoped, instead allowing them to drop to the floor and glaring at him fiercely until he came over, picked them up and deposited them in the hands which appeared through the door’s opening. She shut the door, but reopened it moments later, a questioning look on her face. “Kakashi, where is my bra? Or my bindings?”

“I was in a bit of a hurry when we left, Sakura. I forgot.”

“Oh. I see. I guess I should be grateful you remembered everything else.” She shut the door again, but emerged a few minutes later, looking refreshed, healthy, and quite ready to leave the confines of the hospital.

“I’m guessing it’s cold out, considering that there was frost on the window this morning. There’s no hairdryer, so I didn’t wash my hair. It needs it, though.” She grimaced as she ran her fingers through it.

“I didn’t bring our coats– we needed to travel light.” He pulled several blankets out of the room’s cupboard, and opened the door to bring in a highly polished wheelchair. Kakashi patted the seat, and Sakura reluctantly took her place in it, fidgeting a bit as he tucked blankets over her lap and around her shoulders. The loss of autonomy she was feeling was annoying.

I’m eating gruel, using a wheelchair, and wearing blankets that might as well be shawls.

“I feel like I’m ninety years old.”

“Join the club, Sakura. Now you know why I hate the hospital.” One of the reasons, at least.

“You’re not old, Kakashi. You’re in the prime of your life.”

“You know, ‘prime of your life’ is something you say to middle-aged people to make them feel better about being halfway to their deaths.” He pushed the wheelchair down the pristine halls of the hospital. It was silent as it moved against the mirror-polished floors.

“You really do have a talent for turning white into black, Kakashi. Way to take a compliment, old man.”

“Why are you calling me that?” He looked closely at her as he backed the wheelchair into the elevator.

“Because you obviously want me to. Don’t you?” She tried not to smile at him.

“No,” he said, scowling.

“Well, it really doesn’t matter, Kakashi. You’re the most attractive old man I know.” She looked up at him as innocently as she could. “You’re aging really well.”

“I’m not sure why I smuggled in breakfast for you, Sakura.”

“Actually, Kakashi, you’re the most attractive man I know, period.” He leaned over to kiss her, seconds before the door opened behind him, and several people pushed into the small space. Kakashi stood up quickly and moved behind the wheelchair, gripping its handles to move it further into the elevator. The slightest blush was evident on the exposed skin of his face. The pair was the object of several curious stares. Foreign ninja were uncommon in snow, and these two apparently were romantically involved. Their remaining time in the elevator was thankfully short and soon Sakura and Kakashi left the interlopers behind. Both sighed as the elevator doors closed behind them, but not before they heard several murmurs about the state of morals in Fire Country, brazen kunoichi, cradle robbers, and the like.

“Are you sure about this, Sakura?” Kakashi asked as they entered the garden. It was beautiful, as Junko had said it would be, even under the cover of thick snow that was only beginning to melt. “I kind of sprung it on you, didn’t I?”

“No, Kakashi. You didn’t spring it on me– I was just a little slow on the uptake. I am sure, but I’m a little scared.”

“About people’s reaction-- like we just saw?”

Sakura laughed. “Attitudes like that don’t bother me, Kakashi. People are always quick to judge. They’ve probably never met someone from Fire before, but they had an opinion at the ready. So why should I care what they think about my morals, or our relative ages?”

“My age really doesn’t bother you?”

“For the last time, Kakashi, no. But it bothers you, doesn’t it? Is it going to get in the way?”

“I just worry that I’m depriving you–“

“Of what?”

“Of your youth.”

“What exactly does that mean? What is ‘my youth’? You sound like Gai.”

Kakashi frowned. He did not appreciate being compared to the green clad menace of Konoha. “Being carefree, happy-go-lucky...” He did sound like Gai!

“Kakashi, I’m a ninja. How many ninja are carefree and happy-go-lucky, apart from Naruto? And let’s face it, he’s carefree in the way that only the impossibly dense can be.”

Kakashi laughed, despite the seriousness of the topic. “You know what I mean, Sakura.”

“You mean going out every night and being a party girl, like Ino before she got married? I’ve never been that, Kakashi, even though she’s my closest female friend. Ino tried and tried. How could you be depriving me of something I never wanted?”

“Hmm.”

“Kakashi, you have to know what a commodity you are. You’re the top shinobi in a town where shinobi are worshiped. Women talk about you constantly. It used to make me uncomfortable to hear my sensei talked about like he was a piece of meat, but now... It’s not like I’m settling, Kakashi. Surely you must know that. You have quite a reputation, you know.”

Kakashi looked distinctly uncomfortable on hearing that last remark. He knew women often gossiped, but he wasn’t sure how much detail they went into, or whether they embellished their stories the way men did. He certainly did not feel guilty about the number of “experiences” he’d had over the years, but it was strange to think that stories about him circulated as much as Sakura had suggested. Somehow, he’d thought women were more discreet when it came to such matters. It bothered him that Sakura might have heard tales about his sexual prowess, even if the tales were mostly true. But there was nothing he could do about it.

“Well, if it doesn’t bother you, Sakura, I’m fine with it. I’m not going to let something like that stand in our way. But you said that you were a little scared. Of what?”

“I’ve never done this before, Kakashi. I already told you that.”

“Ah.” He thought for a moment, as he wheeled her over to a bench, set between two fir trees. The bench and trees had been cleared of snow by the groundskeepers, but much the ground around them was still covered in a white, unsullied blanket. Despite the brilliant sunlight that reflected off the snow surrounding them, the day was quite cool. Kakashi couldn’t help squinting as he turned toward Sakura. “So, what’s the scariest part?”

“All of it.”

“That’s not an acceptable answer, Sakura.”

“Are you grading me, Kakashi?”

“No. I’m not sure I understand what “never done this before” means, Sakura. That’s all.” He lifted her out of her seat, blankets and all, and sat down on the bench, with her in his lap.

“It means... everything.” She looked at him for a moment, then away, as her face reddened. “I’ve never been in love, Kakashi. The closest I came was when I was twelve. But stalking another twelve-year-old doesn’t count. I was infatuated with a person named Sasuke, but not the real Sasuke. I was in love– and really not even that-- with a person I created. My Sasuke didn’t exist. The real Sasuke had almost nothing in common with him, apart from the way he looked. It was easy to confuse the pain of unrequited love with real love, and to get so used to the feeling of constant rejection that it almost became an obsession to continue experiencing it. As long as I felt the pain, I thought I was in love. I had a book that told all about love– how love is patient, how love endures. I thought that was what I was doing–enduring, being patient, but I was completely wrong. And then, after my parents died, I gave up. I decided I didn’t want to get close to anyone, let alone fall in love. I’d obviously failed miserably at it. So, the problem is that I don’t know what love really feels like– apart from what I’m starting to feel for you. I don’t know how I’m going to react as our relationship develops.”

Kakashi pulled down his mask and kissed her lightly. “You worry too much.”

“Kakashi, I have no experience at this. Do you know what I mean?”

He cocked his eyebrow at her. Surely she wasn’t telling him she was a virgin. Sakura had dated Sasuke when he’d returned, and from the number of progeny he’d had with Ino, it was clear that he was no slouch in the bedroom.

“Kakashi, I’ve never even been kissed the way you kissed me last night.”

How could Sasuke not have kissed her passionately? How could he not have made love to her, over and over again? The Uchiha was as much an enigma as he’d always been.

“Was it horrible, Sakura?”

She laughed, then blushed. “No! Yes. I don’t... know. It felt incredible, but I only know what I’ve read in medical books– and they don’t go into kissing very much, except as the method of transmission for certain diseases. No mechanics. And there’s what I learned in kunoichi classes. And that was kind of abstract and dry– not particularly hands-on, you know? And there was what Ino told me– she had lots of experience-- but I never took her up on her offer to practice. I’m sure I’m a horrible kisser.”

Kakashi smiled at his former student’s tendency to both intellectualize and prattle when nervous, and raised his eyebrow at her comment about Ino. He wondered what exactly was going on at the Uchiha mansion. “You think you’re going to disappoint me.”

She nodded, head turned away. He slowly turned her head toward him and looked into her eyes. “You’re a passionate woman, Sakura. You put your heart into everything you do. There’s no way you’ll disappoint me.”

“I’m the oldest virgin in Konoha, Kakashi.”

“You’re certainly the most beautiful.”

She laughed. “There aren’t that many virgins in Konoha, you know.”

“Still.” He ran his fingers through her hair, and kissed the crown of her head. He had no idea what she had been speaking of earlier, about her hair needing to be washed. She smelled as she always did, like Sakura. A hint of vanilla, a hint of freshly crushed ferns and something else that was indescribable and unique. She was so incredibly beautiful, inside and out. How was it possible that she was still a virgin?

“You’re not a horrible kisser, you know. I’d say you’re a natural talent.” Kakashi’s voice was a soft growl in her ear.

Sakura giggled.

“This is going to be fun, you know.” He kissed her once on the lips, then moved to gently touch her neck with feather soft caresses.

“There won’t be a bell test, will there?”

“No, Sakura. Well, if you really want one, I’m sure I could pull something together.” He winced as she punched him. Even her most playful punches packed a powerful wallop. “Is there anything else you’re afraid of?”

She was quiet for a few minutes. “I need to know what I mean to you, Kakashi. I don’t want to give up our friendship for a brief fling. You mean too much to me.”

“I don’t want to scare you, Sakura, but this isn’t a fling to me. I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.”

“You’re not the person I thought I knew, Kakashi.”

“I’m different around you, Sakura. You have a tremendous effect on me.”

“And that doesn’t scare you?”

“I’ve thought about it for a while.” Sakura smiled. He was deliberate in everything he did. Love appeared to be no different. “I like the effect you have on me. I want this– I want us to happen.”

Sakura draped the tail end of her blanket over Kakashi, noticing that he was shivering slightly, as he was wearing only his uniform shirt and vest. “You’re cold. Should we go back inside?”

“No. Let’s walk. I’ll warm up, once we get moving.” He placed Sakura back in the wheelchair, over her objections– she had the use of her legs, after all– and quickly wheeled her down a winding path that led out of the wooded area. The paths were completely devoid of snow, Kakashi noticed. He wouldn’t be surprised if they heated the paths. The people of snow were that enamored of technology. He walked quickly to to get the blood moving in his body, and they quickly came upon a frozen pond. It was clearly manmade– there was no stream or river nearby and no tell-tale signs of damp ground such as cattails or rushes. Still, it was beautiful, even in its most desolate time of year.

“Have you noticed there are almost no footprints? Everywhere we’ve visited in the garden is the same.” Kakashi nodded. Apparently the hospital staff was too busy to take advantage of the gorgeous scenery, or perhaps they’d grown used to it. One’s surroundings, beautiful or ugly, became invisible after a while. Kakashi secured the brakes on the wheelchair and excused himself for a moment, quickly returning with a small bouquet.

“Since no one else is enjoying the garden, I don’t feel too bad about this.”

Sakura smiled as she took the cluster of dark purple, snow-flecked crocuses, which had just begun to open. The bright orange yellow of their stamens and stigmas were just visible between the petals. “They’re like you, you know.”

“How so?”

Sakura laughed. “It’s not obvious?”

“No, not really. I don’t wear purple. And I don’t like the cold.”

Sakura sighed at her soon-to-be-lover’s willful ignorance. “They’re one of the first flowers of the new year, blooming while there’s still snow on the ground. They flourish in adversity.”

“Are we talking about me or you?”

“You know, I never thought we were similar, Kakashi.”

“Me either. But we are, aren’t we?”

“Yes, I guess we are.”

...o...o...o...o...

Sakura’s afternoon with Junko had been a bit overwhelming. Her lab contained more equipment than the whole of Konoha hospital, and much of it was unfamiliar. Fire was clearly in the stone age compared to Snow. What would happen if the two countries ever went to war? Sakura couldn’t help thinking that the tiny northern country would completely dominate its larger neighbor. The saving grace was that Snow’s people were completely xenophobic. So long as they didn’t develop a desire for more territory, Fire would be safe. They didn’t seem to be the most affectionate people– perhaps this meant their population was relatively stable. Sakura had looked around the lab, asking question after question, soaking up as much information as possible. Junko had sent her laboratory staff on numerous errands to ensure that Sakura’s visit went unnoticed, and she spent most of the afternoon giving Sakura a primer on infectious disease, vaccination, and immunology. She was even kind enough to give Sakura several scrolls. “Memorize and destroy them before you leave Snow. You’ll be tried for treason if they find them on your person at the border.” Junko shook her head in embarrassment. Knowledge, in her view, was something to be shared, not a political weapon. “I assume you’ll be staying in Snow for a few days before you journey south. In fact, as your medic, I’m ordering it. You need at least two or three days here before attempting any hike, and when you do leave, your travel needs to be brief. I’m sure Tsunade will have additional advice for you. Please thank your colleague for sending my message on with his dog.”

Kakashi had decided that it was okay to leave Sakura’s side for a bit, considering that she’d be in Junko’s care the entire time he was gone. He’d quickly dispatched Pakkun, as soon as he’d found an isolated place in which to summon him, and had gone into the shopping district of the town to procure some supplies and a change of clothing. He was beginning to smell a bit rank, he feared, after several days in the same clothes, and both of them needed some warm outerwear. He had another reason for visiting this part of town, but it wasn’t one he was willing to share with Sakura just yet. He’d smiled to himself as he returned to the hospital and took the elevator to the floor which contained the research labs. He entered Junko’s lab to find Sakura deep in animated conversation with the older medic. He had no idea what they were talking about, as he’d never heard a good two-thirds of the terms they bandied back and forth, but it was amusing to see Sakura so excited. Her eyes burned with excitement as she turned and noticed him standing in the doorway.

“Kakashi, if we can duplicate some of these protocols, we won’t lose any more children to scarlet fever or meningitis. Isn’t that incredible?”

He nodded and smiled. Tsunade would probably give Sakura her own research lab when they returned. It would be an immediate loss to those who depended on her healing abilities, but Kakashi was glad of the possibility. He’d seen on several occasions how Sakura pushed herself to the limit when dealing with life or death cases. Her current job was by its nature draining, and there was only so long she’d be able to continue before burning out completely. Constant overuse of chakra could take years off a person’s life as it aged one prematurely from the inside out. As a researcher she could put her amazing intellect to good use, and save even more lives than she did currently.

“What did you buy?” She wheeled up to him and tried to pull the shopping bags from his hands. He held the bags out of her reach, and addressed Junko instead. “Kota-sama, thank you again for everything you’ve done for both of us. We are in your debt.” He bowed deeply and rose to ask a more mundane question. “Is Sakura free to leave tomorrow?”

Junko nodded. “I’ve already told Sakura of my expectations, but I’ll put it in writing, as well. I’ve been told about this one’s headstrong nature, and it’s imperative that she rest for the next few weeks.”

“Understood.” Kakashi turned and smiled at Sakura. “Looks like your stuck with me for a bit longer. Shall we?” He grabbed the wheelchair’s handles and moved her smoothly down the hall to the elevator. “I never thought shopping could be so exhausting. I can’t wait to lie down on that bed again.”

“Why won’t you tell me what you bought?”

“Sakura, has anyone ever told you how much fun you are to tease?”

Unfortunately for Kakashi, the bed he was hoping to occupy had been filled sometime earlier that day. A battle-scarred, toothless shinobi of Snow lay in the bed closest to the door, propped up to allow a better view the television bolted to the wall opposite him. He barely looked away from the blaring TV as the couple entered the room, grunting a response to their greeting. The curtain dividing the room had been pulled shut, which was fine with the two younger occupants of the room. Kakashi noticed the man was tethered to the bed by the IV bag that hung from his headboard. For some reason, he hadn’t been provided with a movable IV pole. At least he wouldn’t be springing out of bed. The bathroom was on the old man’s side of the room, though.

“Don’t worry,” Sakura whispered as Kakashi helped her into the bed. “We can share.” She winked at him, and the fact that his bed had been taken by an old codger became much less important to Kakashi. He couldn’t, at the moment, think of anything he’d like better than to sleep in the arms of the woman next to him.

Sakura sighed as dinner was delivered. More o-kayu, though the ancient ninja next to them seemed happy to be served it. Sakura stirred the thin gruel the aide placed on the laminate table slid over her bed and made a face. Kakashi laughed, and reached inside one of the bags he’d set down, pulling out two boxed meals.

“My savior!” She pushed the tray to the edge of the table and set the bento box before her, quickly breaking the paper strip that held it closed. “Tempura!” She started eating before Kakashi had even seated himself in the sister of the hideous vinyl chair he remembered from not so long ago.

“You can have mine, too. I’ll trade you for the salmon maki.”

“Deal.” Sakura wolfed down the perfectly fried shrimp first and closed her eyes. She didn’t say another word until the box was empty.

“I’m glad to see your appetite has returned.”

Sakura frowned at the copy-nin. “There’s nothing wrong with a healthy appetite, Kakashi. Just because you forget to eat doesn’t mean eating’s not important.”

“It’s not that I forget. It’s that I get distracted.”

“By a certain orange book.”

“Speaking of which.” He pulled out his book and started to read, only to have the volume pulled from his hands by the irritated kunoichi.

“Not fair, Kakashi.”

“Well, I can’t read it aloud, can I? I know you wouldn’t want the guy next door to hear.”

“Since when do you care what others think?”

“His TV’s too loud, anyway. You wouldn’t be able to hear me.” The inane laughter of a game show punctuated Kakashi’s statement.

“You could sit with me and whisper it in my ear.”

“Hmm.” Kakashi looked at Sakura’s face, then down to the book she held. Why not combine his two favorite pastimes into one? He stood and removed the tray of o-kayu from her table, then rolled the table out of the way. “I’ll be right back.” He walked into the hall to deposit the tray on the rolling, multishelved cart that had been placed there, and reentered the room with a cool look at the bedridden shinobi who had usurped his territory.

“What are you here for?” Kakashi asked conversationally.

“What?” The man sounded irritated. “You’ll need to speak up. I’ve got a hearing problem.” Kakashi smiled under his mask. This was perfect for what he had planned. He parted the curtains to enter the more pleasant side of the room, then turned and looked at the cloth critically, moving it slightly to ensure their privacy. He turned to lower the blinds after he tossed another bag to Sakura.

“I figured you were probably tired of that hospital gown.” Sakura opened the bag to find a surprisingly tasteful short, cotton nightdress. She giggled as she looked at it. She hadn’t expected Kakashi’s taste in intimate apparel to be so mundane. He seemed more like the maribou-feather-and-stretch-satin-bustier type. With attached garters, of course, and lacing down the front.

“What?” Kakashi turned to see Sakura’s eyes brimming with tears.

She could barely control the laughter that overtook her as an image of her in a risque nightgown came to mind. If Kakashi ever got a look at her lingerie drawer, he’d be in for a shock– it was almost 100 plain vanilla. But in black, of course, which in her mind was even more practical than white. Unlike white, it looked clean even when it was dirty, and it didn’t gray in the laundry, or after being beaten against rocks in a stream. Then Sakura realized Kakashi probably had taken a peek at said drawer. He’d fetched items from her apartment before they’d left on this trip, and she knew he was the type that would take any available opportunity for reconnaissance. Somehow, this made her laugh all the more.

“You don’t like it.” He looked disappointed. He’d tried to find a garment that was not overtly sexy, something that wouldn’t intimidate her, but she obviously didn’t like his choice.

“No, no, Kakashi.” Sakura did her best to stop laughing, but still continued to tremble. “It’s beautiful, really. It’s not that. It’s just that an image suddenly popped into my mind.”

“And?”

“I’ll tell you later. I really need to shower. My hair is dirty.”

“I could use one, too. Care to join me?”

She blushed scarlet. “With that man in the room? Are you kidding?”

“Are you telling me you would if he wasn’t there?” Kakashi’s voice had an edge of incredulity to it.

“Maybe.” Sakura got up and walked to the curtain, nightgown in hand.

Just my luck, he muttered to himself as he picked up Icha, Icha.

...o...o...o...o...

“You know, your hair seemed fine before. Did you really need to wash it?” Kakashi gently untangled the wet strands of Sakura’s hair before running a brush through them.

“I don’t think you are much of an expert on the subject of hair care, Kakashi. No offense.”

“None taken. So are you going to tell me why you were laughing before?” He set down the hairbrush and settled them both in the bed, he leaning back against the headboard, she, back to him, leaning against his chest, tucked between his legs. A white sheet covered them both. The glow of a single lamp illuminated their side of the room, as well as the eerie blue light from their neighbor’s TV, which passed through the white curtain that split the room in two.

“It was nothing, really.” She felt a fit of laughter coming on again.

“It didn’t seem like nothing.” His interest was piqued.

“It’s just that I never would have thought you would have picked out so... sedate a nightgown. I mean, I don’t think any of the unnamed females in Icha, Icha would wear something like that, and that is where you get most of your ideas, isn’t it?”

“You make me sound so one-dimensional, Sakura.” But she was right. Icha, Icha certainly did inform most of his romantic (or not so romantic) ideals. He picked up the book from the bedside table and whispered softly into her ear. “Do you remember what we were up to?”

How could he make such a simple question sound so loaded? “I think Jinrai had just lowered nameless woman number three to the ground. You had said the next part was dirty and stopped reading. I think you were embarrassed,” she whispered back.

“Her name is Midori. Jiraiya did give this one a name.” Kakashi flipped to the appropriate page in the book and began reading softly to Sakura.

Jinrai lowered her to the ground, tearing off her ruined garment as he did so. He caressed her bruised flesh gently, and honored her with passionate kisses. He’d make her forget her pain, for a while, at least. She deserved nothing less. He rained kisses as gentle as hummingbird wings along her jawline, then moved lower to caress her exquisite collarbones. She was so fragile, her bones so small, yet she moved, he noticed, with the grace of a strong-boned panther. She almost purred in her passion, her marvelous green-gold eyes half-closed.

“What are you waiting for?” she asked, offering herself to him. She didn’t need to ask twice. Jinrai moved closer to her, and lowered his lips to her breast, suckling at one, while teasing the other with his highly skilled fingertips. She moaned softly as the apex of each half-globe hardened under his ministrations.

“What are you doing, Kakashi?” His own hand had slipped down her nightgown and was ever so gently caressing her breast through the fabric.

“Am I bothering you?” His whisper was almost a growl.

“It’s a little distracting.”

“You can’t focus on two things at once? That should have been part of your training, you know. Why do you think I’m always reading?”

“Because you’re a hentai?” Her whisper scarcely contained a giggle.

“If I am, what does that make you?”

“Horribly corrupted, I think.”

“I can stop, if you like.”

“No. Don’t.”

Kakashi chuckled softly. “What am I not stopping?”

Sakura sighed. “Both, stupid.”

Sakura couldn’t see the smirk of satisfaction on Kakashi’s face as he began reading again.

He removed his mouth from her tender, aroused flesh, and then sat up to kneel by her side. His fingertips moved along her silhouette, and Jinrai smiled as her flesh tightened at his touch, and her breath quickened. He caressed the soft curve of her hip, then moved his hand lower, to part her legs.

“Tell me your name. I need to know your name.”

“Jinrai,” he said, moments before lowering his head to the warm cleft between her legs.

Kakashi snapped the book shut, replaced it on the bedside table and raised his hand to turn off the light.

“What are you doing?”

“I’d rather focus my complete attention on you.” He moved his hand under Sakura’s nightdress and brushed his fingertips against her flesh, noticing that she, like the fictional Midori, shuddered at the light touch.

“But he’ll hear!” There was a trace of panic in Sakura’s whisper.

“No, he won’t– listen to how loud the television is. So long as you’re quiet, Sakura– aren’t you up for the challenge?”

Kakashi was right, Sakura realized. The TV was set at a very high volume. The inane theme song of an apparently very popular show had just come on. It jangled her nerves as it sang about how funny and outrageous the people of Snow were. An over-emotional host spoke next, about the need to send in videos of people caught in the act. Sakura heard their neighbor laughing as the first clip was introduced. Apparently, there was nothing funnier than watching a man get kicked in the crotch, over and over.

“Okay.”

Kakashi smiled. How could he have ever thought that Sakura was anything other than perfect for him? His hand found her breast, and massaged it slowly, working steadily toward her areola, which tightened at his touch. He did the same for its partner, rolling the erect nipple between his fingers, causing Sakura to roll her head back against his neck.

“I’m guessing you like that,” he whispered.

“So...observant.” She could barely speak.

Kakashi chuckled softly as he allowed one hand to trace the line that demarcated Sakura’s ribs from her lower half. She gasped at his touch.

“Ticklish? Why am I not surprised?” His hands continued their exploration. “Your skin is like silk, Sakura. I could touch you all night.”

“Mmm.”

His hand moved lower to trace the curve of her hip, and to brush lightly against the flat expanse of her lower abdomen. “Spread your legs, Sakura.”

She complied, but not before asking, “Why?”

“I want to touch you everywhere. Is that okay?”

“Mmm.” Kakashi moved his hand to gently caress her thigh, feeling her tense up as he did so.

“I won’t hurt you, Sakura, I promise. Just say the word, and I’ll stop.”

“No. Don’t stop, Kakashi.” Her voice was not tentative. Kakashi slipped a finger between the folds of her sex, and stroked her. “You’re wet, Sakura.” The dream he’d had weeks earlier flashed in his mind. He found the analogue to his own aroused member and felt his lover tremble as he touched it lightly. She writhed against him. “Too much?” She nodded vigorously. He stimulated her by a more indirect route, moving one finger inside of her, and relishing her slickness.

“You’re so tight, Sakura.” His finger moved in and out of her, mimicking the action he so longed to take part in. He inserted a second finger, and became aware of the evidence of her virginity. Like most kunoichi, there wasn’t much to speak of– years of vigorous exercise had taken its toll on the fragile membrane. Still, it was possible he was causing her discomfort. He stopped his exploration, and moved slightly to look at her face.

“Am I hurting you?”

Sakura’s face was peaceful as she responded. “No, it doesn’t hurt. It’s funny, though, to feel you inside of me. Kind of like a medical exam.”

If only he were really inside of her. But not here, not yet. Not when Junko or some other medic could walk in on them. Tsunade would surely here, and although she knew about Kakashi’s feelings for Sakura, she certainly wouldn’t appreciate hearing about a public consummation of their love.

“Don’t intellectualize, Sakura. Let go and let yourself feel it.” His fingers moved to caress her again, more firmly stroking the engorged bundle of nerve endings at the apex of her folds. She moved against him as he did so. Kakashi grabbed her hand, and moved it to where his had been.

“You’re so hard, Sakura. Feel yourself.” She did so, curious, then moved her hand away. Kakashi sucked each of her fingers of the juices that moistened them, then replaced his hand to caress her further.

“I can tell you’re close, Sakura. Don’t hold back.” She didn’t, as a jolt suddenly coursed through her body, electrifying her with its intensity. She almost cried out, but Kakashi used his free hand to cover her mouth. She unknowingly bit into his flesh instead, as the feeling of release fully consumed her. Her movements finally abated, but Kakashi continued to touch her, and brought her to the edge once more.

“Sakura,” he murmured, “I want you.”

“Then take me, Kakashi.”

“No. Not now.”

“Please. I want you... inside of me. I want to feel you.” She could tell she was close to orgasm again. “Please, Kakashi.” He removed his hand.

“Sakura, I want our first time we make love to be special. I’m not going to risk your reputation–“

“But he’s asleep! Don’t you hear him snoring?”

“It’s not him I’m worried about, Sakura. Any nurse or medic could walk in on us.’

“Oh.” A tinge of disappointment colored her voice.

“And Sakura–“ She twisted around to look at him. “When we do make love, it’s going to be an all day thing, not some quickie in a borrowed bed.”

“And when will that be, Kakashi?”

“How about tomorrow, once you’re released?”

“It’s a date, then.”

Chapter 30– Knowledge– Eighth Date, Part One

He was still asleep, Sakura noticed, as she stretched, catlike, next to the copy nin and settled in again next to him. It felt so good to be curled up by his side, and to feel the warmth of his firm, muscled body against hers, just as it had felt good to wake up in his unconscious embrace, legs entangled with his, cheek pressed against his naked chest, arms wrapped loosely around him. It felt right like a homecoming; as though she had just rediscovered the place she was always meant to be.

She’d never thought she’d fall in love– that is, she never thought she’d allow herself to do so. She’d thought it wasn’t worth the pain, wasn’t worth opening herself up and making herself vulnerable to another, given the likelihood of rejection and the abysmal results the last time she had done so. Kakashi had surprised her, though. He was the last person she ever would have expected to show his own vulnerable side. The fact that he had done so for her made the act even more precious. It had also made it easier to take the risk of loving him back.

And he did look vulnerable now, almost childlike. He was dreaming, she saw, his eyes moving back and forth rapidly under their lids, his lips parted and moist, the pillow somewhat damp under his cheek. Hatake Kakashi was a nighttime drooler, apparently. The thought made Sakura giggle aloud, but the bubbling cascade of her laughter did not wake him. She ran her free hand down his side, luxuriating in his warmth, and called his name softly. She was eager to be discharged from the hospital, and the sooner they started their day, the sooner her release would happen. He said her name-- in response, Sakura thought at first, but when he did not answer her next question (“Did you sleep well?”), she realized he was still asleep. The blissful, almost goofy smile on his face told her volumes about the likely subject of his dream. She guessed it was the “all day” event he had referred to the night before. Of course, Kakashi’s nighttime dreams (the pleasant ones, anyway) probably did not vary much from this general topic, consumed as he seemed to be with erotic thoughts during the daytime

Sakura harbored some anxiety about the coming day, although she was aware that this anxiety was not about the actual act of consummation of her relationship with Kakashi. She wasn’t afraid of the small amount of pain she might feel the first time, and never had been. As a shinobi, pain was something to be taken in stride, the price of doing ones job well, not something to shy away from. Besides, everything she had learned about sex from Ino had suggested that any fleeting pain she might endure would be more than mitigated by subsequent physical pleasure. There was no way losing her virginity could compare to, say, having both shoulders dislocated, which had certainly been the most painful episode she had ever endured, or even to the lesser (though substantial) pain she’d felt when stabbed by a kunai. Pain had nothing to do with the anxiety Sakura felt, nor did modesty, or propriety, or any of the other things that cause young virgins to fret on the eve of their wedding night. Sakura rolled her eyes at this—the image of her as a blushing bride was completely at odds with her persona as a ninja and medic.

Sakura had not remained a virgin by choice—she had never seen the point of waiting, if one were truly in love. If Sasuke had asked her years ago, she would have willingly given herself to him. But he never had asked her, much as she’d hoped he would, never given any sign that her feelings for him were reciprocated. And, after ending things with him and losing her parents, Sakura had found she didn’t want to be intimate with another, either physically or emotionally. She had known that for her, unlike Ino, sex would never be simply meaningless carnal pleasure, detached from emotion. For Sakura, physical intimacy was closely linked to emotional and spiritual intimacy, and as she hadn’t, in the past eight years, allowed herself to grow emotionally close to another, it followed that she hadn’t experienced physical intimacy either. Added to this was the sobering fact that as a medic, she saw graphic representations of some of the results of promiscuity. Genma’s frequent visits to the clinic immediately came to mind. Ino had been very lucky not to come down with some of the diseases Sakura had treated over the past few years given the casual with contact she’d had with the senbon expert as a teenager (before “winning” Sasuke, of course). Time at the clinic, with its frequent exposure to such symptoms put a bit of a damper on any wanton feelings Sakura might have felt. It had been much, much easier to bury herself in medical scrolls and books and mothball that aspect of her self. But Kakashi had changed all that. Sakura wanted to know him completely, intimately, as lovers know each other. She smiled as she thought of the pleasure he’d brought her the night before, and how very Kakashi-typical the venue had been. She was sure it had added to his pleasure to know there was a man in the next bed who might hear his lover’s muffled moans of ecstasy. And to be honest, Sakura had found it exciting as well. It didn’t quell the anxiety she felt, though. Would a man as experienced as Kakashi be disappointed in her?

She pushed the nagging feelings of inadequacy out of her mind. There was nothing she could do about her lack of experience—except get some experience. And heavens knew, she was a fast learner. Sakura pressed her lips against Kakashi’s and was rewarded by his free arm pulling her closer to embrace her more deeply. She broke the kiss to hear him speak her name.

“Sakura. Touch me.”

She blushed at his request, which from the raw, sensual way in which it was uttered could only mean one thing. Sakura looked closely at the copy nin. His eyes were still moving beneath his lids, and it was obvious he was still asleep. She smiled. It was an honor, in a slightly perverted way, to be the star of whatever dream Kakashi was having. What would he do if she did touch him? It would certainly turn the tables for him to wake up in such a compromised position. Sakura moved her hand down his bare chest to his drawstring-tied pajama bottoms, deftly untying them and loosening them around his hips. She grasped his erect member and heard him moan softly. His skin felt like charmeuse satin, she realized as she ran her fingertips along his length. But it also felt like velvet, or the skin of a newly ripe peach– so soft and yet so firm.

Sakura lifted the blanket that covered them to get a look at her lover’s anatomy. In her work as a medic, Sakura had viewed more shinobi anatomy than she cared to think about, and it was flattering, although simultaneously humiliating how often her male patients became erect during her physicals. Kakashi’s “equipment” (as Naruto and Sasuke had so often termed their own anatomy, much to her preteen horror) wasn’t the biggest she’d ever seen. On the other hand, he was definitely above average in his vital statistics, though not freakishly so. (Genma popped into her mind again. Her first consultation with the orally-fixated shinobi—a thoroughly embarrassing consultation-- had confirmed for Sakura the true reason for the Konoha Casanova’s popularity with a large demographic of the hidden village. This segment of society was quite diverse in terms of occupation, marital status, wealth, beauty, etc., having only gender as a common attribute. Apparently the stories bandied about in the single-sexed, open confessional of Konoha’s public baths had not been exaggerated.)

Sakura shook her head, banishing all thoughts except for those directly related to the man still sleeping beside her. Her gentlest touches, she found, were most effective, most likely to make him quiver, most likely to cause his breath to catch slightly. She felt him swell further under her caresses, and smiled at the thought that someone as inexperienced as she could bring him pleasure. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips against the hollow at the base of his neck, parting her lips slightly to allow the tip of her tongue to trace a sinuous line against his flesh. She moved her head lower, relishing the earthy fragrance of his skin, learning the nuances of his body using only her senses of taste, smell and touch. She traced the periphery of each nipple with her tongue, while outlining a similar pattern on the sensitive head of his fully engorged member with light strokes of her fingertips.

“You’re a goddess. Sakura…”

Kakashi said her name in a way no one else ever had, as though she truly were a goddess, an erotic deity, perhaps. As though she were the center of his world. Sakura pressed her cheek against the muscled expanse of the sleeping ninja’s chest and breathed contentedly, eyes still closed, as she continued her part in Kakashi’s erotic dream. Then the breath was knocked out of her, and she found herself pinned under the agile, lightning-fast ninja.

His voice was a whispered growl in her ear. “I never thought you would take advantage of me in my sleep, Miss Haruno.”

She squirmed under him as she unsuccessfully attempted to regain the upper hand. “I didn’t take advantage of you! You—“ Her retort was cut short by the pressure of his lips against her. She yielded immediately, losing herself in his expert embrace. His lips were demanding, the kiss unlike others they had shared. It was raw, its passion fully exposed and heedless of subtlety. He plundered the recesses of her mouth, and bruised her lower lip as he pulled it into his own mouth.

She broke the kiss as she tried to pull her arms free from his restraining hold, and grew annoyed that he could clasp her two wrists so securely within a single hand. He tightened his hold, stretching her arms over her head as he did so, while using his free hand to caress her straining torso.

“Naughty.” It was clear he was enjoying this, even more than he’d enjoyed touching her the night before.

“I didn’t take advantage of you. You asked me to touch you.”

He ignored her as he eyed his hitae-ate instead, considering its suitability as a restraining device, and wondering just how far he could push his nascent lover. He thought better of the impromptu restraints, and released her arms as he propped himself over her and pushed up her nightgown to expose her hips.

“Kakashi? What are you doing?”

“You can’t tease me like that and not expect anything to happen, Sakura.”

“But-- you said you wanted to wait—that you didn’t want our first time to be a quickie.” Kakashi noticed the urgent, almost frantic tone in her voice. He did his best to refrain from smiling while savoring her reactions.

“Hmm. But that was before you… took the initiative. I’m a man, Sakura. You can’t turn back certain processes once you set them into motion.”

“But… he’ll hear. The television is off.” Her head turned to regard the white curtain that hung only centimeters from the narrow bed they shared. Surely their surly neighbor was awake by now.

“He’s an old man. Why deny him a vicarious thrill?” Kakashi nearly laughed aloud at the expression on Sakura’s face, and took advantage of her obvious shock to push her legs apart with his knee. He guided his length between her folds, stroking gently, then pressing every so slightly against her opening.

“You’re wet, Sakura. You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

She nodded, and sought his lips with her own. He teased her until she bucked against him, her body urging him to finish what he’d started. Still, he held back, even after he heard her softly cry, “Please.”

“Koji-san! Let’s get you prepped for surgery!” An insufferably bright, loud voice filled the room. “We haven’t eaten since last night, have we? Koji-san, can you hear me?”

Kakashi rolled off Sakura and hopped out of bed, winking at the flustered kunoichi as he did so. It had taken considerable effort not to finish what he’d started, but the considerable physical discomfort he’d feel for the next few hours would be well worth it, he decided as he watched embarrassment, then realization flicker across Sakura’s face, quickly followed by the gentle stirrings of fury.

“You planned this all along, didn’t you?”

“Planned what, Sakura?” Kakashi reached for his hitae-ate and mask. “I’ve never been considered much of a planner—I’m much more the extemporaneous type, don’t you think?” He smiled brightly at her, so that the apple of his cheek curved against his eye, and stepped quickly out of the way to dodge an incoming feather-filled missile.

“You knew the nurse was coming.”

”You’re the one who works in a hospital, not me. I would think that you’d have a far better idea of medical comings and goings.” He stripped off his pajamas, affording Sakura an unobstructed view of his well muscled posterior, then leaned over the room’s garish vinyl chair as he rifled through his clothing stacked there. Sadly (to Sakura, at least), he found the required garments all too quickly and soon was dressed in a clean facsimile of his usual shinobi attire.

”You had no intention of— Why would you--?” It wasn’t like her to stutter, but his (naked) proximity, combined with the fact that she’d been urging him on, only moments before, had left her feeling confused and sparking like an appliance that had been short circuited.

“But you were so obviously enjoying it, Sakura. I never would have pegged you as an exhibitionist. Maybe you’re the hentai, not me.”

“You knew he was deaf, too, didn’t you?” An evil smile was the only acknowledgement she received, but this was acknowledgement enough. He sat on the edge of the bed as he fastened his sandals, then ran his fingers through his hair, which looked about the same after he finished.

“Haruno-san?” The nurse’s disturbingly cheerful voice interrupted their whispered conversation. “Are you awake?” A face dominated by a very toothy smile poked through the opening in the curtains and scanned the room and its occupants. “Oh, good. Head medic Sota will be by in an hour or two to give you an exam, and then you’ll be free to go.” She smiled at Kakashi, and bowed slightly. “Our patient is very lucky that her father could join her.”

Sakura chortled as the exposed skin on Kakashi’s face turned as crimson as the training dress she had favored years ago. He totally deserved it.

“I’m not—“ he began, but was quickly interrupted by Sakura.

“Daddy? Could we go shopping? I need a new dress. And some pretty new underwear.” She smiled innocently, noting with pleasure how his visible eye widened at her remark.

The nurse looked at them strangely, then stepped back, letting the curtain fall into place.

“Touche.” Sakura smiled winningly at this acknowledgement, and began to hum as she climbed from the bed.

“Know that there will be payback, though, Sakura.”

”Of course, Kakashi-kun. I know whom I’m dealing with.”

“I’ll be back in an hour or so. Enjoy your o-kayu.”

…o…o…o…o…

“This city isn’t what I expected. It’s so different from Konoha.” Sakura had been to Snow, once before, but not to its hidden village. It was cleaner, much cleaner than Konoha, and almost sterile in the precision of its layout and smooth expanses of stone and glass. Konoha was a city that was truly organic. It had sprung up in a patchwork fashion and had grown into a motley collection of buildings, which were often repurposed as the city grew and changed. It was patched, and taped, and taped again, its pipes and conduits exposed, its stucco cracked and crumbling in places, fresh and new in others. Konoha felt lived in, and alive, a true product of human endeavor. Yukigakure, on the other hand, felt cold and lifeless. If it were indeed alive, it was a being that tolerated humans as one might an annoying but relatively harmless parasite. It was beautiful, though, more beautiful than Konoha might ever hope to be, an ice princess to Konoha’s girl next door.

“Our hotel.” Kakashi pointed down the street to a tall glass and metal building—one so tall that Sakura couldn’t see the highest stories, even with her head craned back.

“How can this be a hidden village with something so tall protruding from it? It would be like a beacon, day or night.”

”Genjutsu, Sakura. Yukigakure isn’t visible unless you know what to look for.”

“A citywide genjutsu? 24-7? Who maintains it?”

“Good question. It would take an incredible amount of chakra to maintain. But apparently it’s the best solution to their problem. This country is so small that its occupants have been forced to build up instead of out, to conserve the remaining farmland.”

“So when is the invasion?”

“Don’t think that the other hidden villages aren’t asking the same question. Snow may be a small country, but it would be a formidable adversary.” He walked with Sakura through doors that were held open for them by smartly attired doormen, and across a lobby minimally, though elegantly decorated to complement its streamlined architecture. “I’ve already checked us in.” She noticed the key he pulled out of his pocket.

“We’re on the twentieth floor?”

“Penthouse suite, actually.” She noticed the smile in his visible eye.

”How can you afford this, Kakashi?” He’d always been so stingy. When had this changed?

”I’m not paying. Tsunade is.” Ah. Things made more sense, now. “She sent funds with her message. She spares no expense when it comes to you, it seems.”

“I’m sure I’ll end up paying for it, somehow.”

”I’m sure you already have. She also treats you like an indentured servant.”

”Isn’t that what an apprentice is?”

”Is that how I treated you?”

“No. But…” Sakura looked away as she stepped into the plushly carpeted elevator.

“You’re thinking benign neglect is easily as bad as abject servitude, aren’t you?” He lifted her chin, both of them ignoring the widening cityscape visible through the glass wall of the elevator. She nodded. “If I had it to do over again, Sakura, I would do things differently. I gave the most competent student short shrift. I shouldn’t have ignored you.”

”Well, you’re not ignoring me now, are you?” Her smile was real, and happy. Her eyes closed as she lifted onto the balls of her feet to capture his lips with her own. She smiled again as she realized her lips were touching flesh, not fabric, warm, perfect flesh. They kissed until the elevator slid to a smooth hydraulic stop, then hurried to the room Kakashi had reserved for them.

The room was a match for Kakashi, Sakura noticed as she stepped into the space. The metal frame and glass skin of the building were unhidden by inner walls. Their linear structure was complemented by the boxy lines of simply upholstered furniture and by draperies in shades of grey, from frosty silver to soft charcoal. The room had a feeling of crispness and competence and betrayed no sign of vulnerability, unless one looked very closely, underneath the underneath. For glass was hard and impenetrable, but also brittle, and steel, though forged and tempered to be free from weakness, did age and corrode with time. There was a time, Sakura realized when she might have thought a room like this empty and cold, a sister in its barrenness to the larger Yukigakure. But now she saw something compelling in its cool reserve. She smiled as she saw how comfortable Kakashi was in this environment. It seemed almost an extension of him.

“I’m guessing you haven’t eaten. How about an early lunch?” Kakashi gestured to the table set before them in western style, and removed his hitae-ate and mask before joining her.

“It smells good. What is it?”

“Chicken milanese. It’s something like tonkatsu, except with chicken of course, and asparagus marinated in a thick vinegar.”

”Asparagus pickles? I love those.”

”No, not really. It’s not rice vinegar. It’s more like a wine syrup.”

“No fish? No miso soup?” Sakura lifted the metal covers from each dish as she inspected their lunch.

“We’re pretty far from the ocean. The people of snow raise livestock, instead. And it’s too cold to grow soybeans here. But these dishes aren’t Snow’s cuisine. They’re from another part of the world.”

“What type of rice is this?” Sakura lifted her fork to touch the creamy white risotto piled into a serving dish. “It smells…pungent. A little bit like Naruto’s dirty socks, actually.” She wrinkled her nose at the comparison. There was no explaining different cultures’ dietary choices, it seemed.

“It’s flavored with a cheese. Try it.”

”Mmm.” Sakura took another forkful. “It doesn’t taste how it smells, does it?” Sakura noticed a silver ice bucket on the nearby credenza. “Is that sake? Even though it’s early, I’d love a cup. Liquid courage, you know?”

Kakashi pulled the large bottle from its icy resting place. “It’s champagne. Have you ever tried it?”

Sakura shook her head.

”I think you’ll enjoy it, but let’s wait for dessert.”

Dessert was a small bowl of succulent alpine strawberries, their tiny size belying their intense flavor. Kakashi demonstrated their natural affinity for champagne, dipping one tiny fruit into Sakura’s crystal flute of champagne before popping it into her open mouth, and smiling as she eagerly licked his fingers clean of the sticky, red juice that oozed from the berry. They quickly realized that a better venue for this somewhat messy endeavor was bed, and both climbed into a nest made from a hastily piled collection of pillows to continue their feast.

“I think we owe Tsunade a toast. I can’t imagine a better place to spend the day, can you?”

“To Tsunade, then. And to you, Sakura.”

“To you, Kakashi.” Sakura leaned in to kiss him. He quickly removed her empty champagne glass and pressed her back against the stack of pillows. Two glasses of the bubbly beverage proved enough to help her forget her earlier anxieties. She smiled through the slight haze the champagne had induced in her.

“Are you afraid, Sakura?”

”Afraid? Of you? Of course not, Kakashi-kun. Oh. You mean of… you… deflowering me.” She rolled her eyes in mockery of the quasi-botanical term. ‘Deflowering’ a sakura-- how ridiculous. “No. I’m not scared. And I have no reservations, either.”

”The thing is, Sakura, I’ve never actually done… I have no idea how it will feel to you.”

”You don’t need to apologize, Kakashi. I’m a big girl, and this is my decision. And I know you’d never get pleasure from any pain you caused me.”

“Never, Sakura. You know I meant it when I said a long time ago that I’d give my life to protect you.”

“I know.” Sakura moved her lips to cover his, breaking their kiss only long enough to ask, “There isn’t going to be an audience, is there?”

He smiled at her attempt at levity. ”Not unless you want one, Sakura.” He couldn’t resist the comment, but decided the subsequent stinging sensation in his arm was a fair price to pay for its utterance. He rolled Sakura so that she was on her back and he above her, resting most of his body’s weight on his forearm. Her lips were stained red with berry juice, he noticed, and already slightly swollen from the pressure of their kisses.

“You are incredibly beautiful, you know.” She averted her eyes in embarrassment. “I don’t say things I don’t mean, Sakura. You know that.” She nodded. “And not only do I mean this, but it happens to be a fact. You are easily the most beautiful kunoichi in Konoha, and even more beautiful because you’ve never let it affect you.” He paused to kiss the soft line of her jaw. “Is it okay if I get a better look?” Kakashi unzipped the shirt covering her unbound breasts, and took each of them into his mouth, in turn. He delighted in their supple firmness, in their youthful elasticity. Sakura was by no means flat-chested, but her breasts had no need yet for a supporting undergarment. Kakashi tugged against the pink buds that rose from the apex of each breast, feeling a frisson of delight at their ready response to his touch. He ran his tongue around the pale pink halo that delimited the erectile tissue of her breast, then rolled her nipple gently between his teeth. Her soft moan of pleasure was reward enough for him.

“Do you like this Sakura?” He felt her nod. “Tell me if you want me to stop.” He tugged at her nipple again, noticing how her breathing quickened, then flicked his tongue rapidly across the hardened tissue. He allowed his tongue to caress the ridges her ribs made against her flesh and the line that separated them from the softer tissue of her abdomen. He worked his way lower across the contours of her geography, pausing momentarily to nudge aside her legs, then lowering his head to inhale the sultry fragrance of her most feminine landmark. She was shocked, he realized, when she felt his tongue delve between her folds, but she recovered nicely, he thought, giving in quite quickly to his persistent caresses. Soon she was wetter than she’d been that morning, or the night before, and as he lifted his head, she leaned down to pull him up against her.

“Make love to me, Kakashi.” She claimed his passion-soaked lips with her own, and did not recoil when she tasted herself. He fumbled in the drawer beside the bed, in search of one of the many purchases he’d made the day before.

“I’m protected, Kakashi. We all are. Tsunade’s orders.”

”No need for these then,” he said, tossing a small box across the room. He kissed her again, slowly, languidly, and then pressed into her gently, then firmly, quickly, making short work of the last vestige of her virginity. He felt her body stiffen as he did so, but only for a second or two. He didn’t move, not wanting to add to her discomfort in increasing his own pleasure.

He regarded her face. There were no tears to kiss away (though Jiraiya had alluded to this each and every time his hero seduced a virgin) and no obvious signs of discomfort.

“I’m fine, Kakashi,” Sakura said in response to his unasked question. “It was nothing like what I expected. Can we continue?”

Kakashi chuckled at his lover’s matter-of-fact attitude, and wondered, not for the first time, at his luck in winning some karmic lottery. Did he really deserve someone as beautiful, as passionate and caring as his Sakura? Even if he didn’t he knew he’d never give her up willingly.

He began to move inside of her, slowly at first, groaning a bit as she also moved against him. She instinctively knew how to please him, he thought, as he felt her walls tighten and relax rhythmically against his length. He stopped moving, to better feel her internal caresses, and hissed in anticipation as she wrapped her legs around him to allow more of him inside of her. He began to move again, more quickly this time, pushing more deeply into him as she urged him to do so with her own upward thrusts.

“You are quite the lover, Sakura. Do you have any idea what you are doing to me?”

“Tell me.”

“Keep it up and I won’t need to. You’ll know.”

“Tell me anyway.”

“You make me want to lose myself in you.”

”Then lose yourself.”

”I can’t.” She looked at him, puzzled.

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not finished with you yet.”

“No?”

”No. I want you to come for me, Sakura. Again and again.”

”I don’t think that will be a problem, Kakashi-kun. I think—“

He felt her begin to spasm around his length, and did his best to control his own growing need to orgasm.

“Please, Kakashi. Deeper.” He obliged, and felt her reach a new peak, then fall, only to rise again in a new, taller peak of pleasure. He timed his thrusts to match the waves of passion crashing around him, and was rewarded for his efforts with a throaty scream of delight.

“Kakashi. Please Kakashi. Come for me.”

”No, not yet.” But he did allow himself to move more quickly within her, pulling back to unsheath himself fully before plunging in again into her wet, slick warmth.

“Say my name, Sakura. Say you need me.”

“Ka. Ka. Shi. Ka! Ka! Shi! Kakashi! Please. I need you. I want—you-- Come, Kakashi. Come.”

Again, he obliged her, feeling the waves of her passion growing in amplitude. She screamed in a final release as he spurted into her, milking him as she contracted violently against him.

He came back to himself quickly—he always did. It was hard to stray far from his ingrained shinobi habits of self discipline and self awareness. She came back to herself more slowly. Kakashi stroked her hair as he regarded her. He’d known she was passionate—she’d always worn her emotions openly. But she’d surprised him with the strength of her passion and with the ease with which she’d reached climax. He couldn’t imagine anyone more suited to him.

Kakashi grasped her waist, rolling the two of them easily so that she lay prone on him, and still around him.

“Kakashi, was that—okay?” He chuckled at her words. “Why are you laughing?” She struggled to remove herself from him, put once again felt herself pinned in place.

“I’m laughing because it should be obvious to you that that was more than okay, Sakura.” He smiled at her before kissing her gently. “It was… incredible.”

“Oh. Good.” Sakura laid her head against Kakashi’s chest, snuggling against him. “What do you want to do now?”

“I told you this was going to be an all day thing. Didn’t you listen?” He grasped her hips, grinding her against him. She felt him stir within her.

“But…?”

“Hmm?”

“How can…? Isn’t there…?”

“Why are you stammering, Sakura?”

The kunoichi’s face flushed as she searched for the right words. “Kakashi, isn’t there supposed to be a refractory period?”

“Refractory period? What on earth are you talking about?” He guided her into a rhythm as he spoke. “That’s medical jargon, isn’t it? Speak in simple words I can understand.”

”Because you’re a simple man?” Sakura snorted. “Hardly.” She ran her hands across Kakashi’s chest as she continued. “What I mean is… Isn’t there supposed to be some sort of delay between…um… one sex act and another? Didn’t you already…come? I mean, you’re not seventeen, and everything I’ve read suggests that libido decreases linearly with age and…”

”You intellectualize when you’re nervous.”

”Yes, but that doesn’t change the fact that—“

“Sakura, were the papers you read written by shinobi?”

“No, I think they were civilian-authored.” She was moving against him now without his help, clearly enjoying the feeling of him inside of her.

“Do you remember how I stressed the importance of chakra control?”

“Sure. The whole tree climbing thing. I think you said my chakra control rivaled yours.”

”It surpassed it, actually. But what I didn’t say then is that there are other uses for chakra control.”

“Oh?” She blushed as she grasped the meaning of his words, and froze against him. “Oh. You are such a… hentai. Is that what you were thinking about when you were training a bunch of twelve year olds?”

“I was reading Icha, Icha, Paradisu, Sakura. What do you think I was thinking about? But you’ll notice I never shared those thoughts—or the books—with you three. That wouldn’t have been appropriate.”

“Hmm. Well, I guess that explains the rumors, then.” The stories about Hatake Kakashi, the unstoppable sex machine, had some basis in reality.

“You know, Sakura, sometimes rumors are just that.” She looked at him questioningly. “I won’t deny that I’ve had my share of physical encounters. But the thing is, that’s all they were-- release. I never once felt the need to exercise ‘chakra control,’ and I never wanted an ‘all day’ thing until I fell in love with you.”

“I should feel honored, then.”

“Well, of course you should feel honored. You’re with me, after all.”

“Riiight.” Sakura rolled her eyes. The man was insufferable at times, but she could no longer imagine life without him. “So it’s my turn, right? I get to make you come?”

“Sure. And then if you like, we can talk about applied chakra control.”

“Will this be a lab class, sensei, and will there be a practical?”

“Will my answer affect how hard you work?”

“No. You know I give everything my all.”

“Like now. I can tell. Anything to get that ‘A’.”

Chapter 31– Applied Chakra Control– Eighth Date, Part Two

“Where do you think you’re going?” A strong arm snaked around Sakura’s waist and pulled her closer to the copy ninja.

“I just need to stretch my legs.”

”No.”

“No?” Sakura looked at Kakashi in surprise. “Since when do you dictate my comings and goings?”

“You’re stuck with me for the day, hana. I said this was going to be an all-day thing, and I seem to remember you agreeing to it.”

”I’m stuck with you, here in the bed? What if I need to use the bathroom?”

”Do you need to use the bathroom?”

”Well, no, but what if I did?”

“You don’t. So stay in bed. I’ll be happy to stretch your legs for you.”

”Pervert.” Sakura blushed as she realized the intent of Kakashi‘s words, and tried to wriggle out of his grasp. She was unsuccessful, as she had expected, but it had still been worth a try. Frustrated, she flopped down next to her lover and glared at him.

“So, I’m your prisoner?”

”My sex slave, to be more specific.” Kakashi smiled wickedly at the incredulous look on Sakura’s face.

“Really.” Her tone was sarcastic, belying the tremor of anxiety she felt upon hearing his words. She should have expected things would get kinky, considering the man’s literary diet consisted solely of orange-bound books adorned with the universal symbol for ‘banned.’ “And just what does sex slavery involve?”

“Being totally devoted to your partner.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad.” Again, he’d surprised her. “So does that mean that you’re my sex slave, too?”

“Of course. I’d do anything for you, Sakura-chan.”

“And I’d do anything for you.”

”Really?” Kakashi’s eyes sparkled as he sat upright. “Come here, then.” He knelt on the bed, gesturing for Sakura to do the same. “Kiss me.” Sakura knelt before him, and chastely pressed her lips against his, resting her hands on his shoulders as she did so. She was surprised when he broke the kiss, simultaneously removing her hands from their resting place and admonishing her gently. “No hands.”

She leaned forward again, spreading her knees a bit to balance on the very springy mattress, and tentatively pressed her lips against Kakashi’s. He surprised her again, as he broke the kiss once more. “Now allow the tiniest bit of chakra to leave your lips and enter mine. Stimulate the nerve endings you locate.” She raised her eyebrow questioningly, but complied as she kissed him again, feeling the intense heat of Kakashi’s unusual blue-white chakra as she did so. Their chakra intermingled like two weather systems, hot and cool moving turbulently against each other. Kakashi’s chakra quickly found its targets within Sakura’s system; fully lighting up the neurons tasked with transmitting the many sensations that invoke pleasure. This was no ordinary kiss, Sakura realized, deepening the embrace in an effort to feel more of her lover and his white-hot chakra.

“Did you like that?” Kakashi pulled away from her for a moment and savored her expression.

“Yes,” she said, her voice breathless with astonishment. “I never realized chakra could be used in that way. No wonder you have a reputation as a ladies’ man. One kiss like that and a person would be ruined for anyone else.”

Kakashi grinned wolfishly at the compliment. “So you’re ruined for anyone else?” Sakura nodded. “Good. That suits my purposes perfectly.” He pulled her close to him, and ran his lips along her neck, sending tiny currents of chakra into her flesh. “But you should know something, Sakura. I’ve never kissed anyone else like this before.”

”No?”

“I’ve never really dated kunoichi—too many problems result when you mix work and pleasure. Well, to be honest, I’ve never really dated, at all. One night stands were more my thing, and civilians are a better bet where that’s concerned. Civilians typically aren’t aware of chakra, so one wouldn’t even feel a kiss like that. Besides, it would have been much more intimate than I would have been comfortable with.”

”Isn’t sex itself intimate for you?”

”With you it is. But no, it doesn’t have to be. Before you, it was always just about release for me.”

”That’s what Ino always said it was for her. I don’t really understand.” She snuggled against the copy ninja. “So, how did you learn how to kiss like that?”

“Jiraiya loaned me several scrolls. He said he’d obtained them in the course of research for one of his books, but decided they’d detract from the plot—a large portion of his audience is civilian, and they wouldn’t understand chakra, let alone applied chakra control. And even most shinobi never reach the level of expertise needed to do what we just did. Jiraiya thought it would seem a bit far-fetched, even to them.”

“What was in the other scrolls?”

”You’ll see.” Kakashi winked.

“Oh. There’s more? I never stopped to think that chakra could be used for more than fighting and healing. Trust someone like Jiraiya to discover the sexual aspect. And you to take full advantage. I’m not sure—“ she blushed.

“You’re not sure of what?”

“I’m not sure I’ll be able to heal a patient without thinking of this.”

“Well, that’s a good thing. You should be thinking of me 24-7, after all.”

“Kakashi! Sugoi wagamama!” Sakura unthinkingly slammed her fist against his upper arm, and felt his humerus crack under the poorly restrained force of the blow.

“Gomen nasai! Kakashi, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to—“

Kakashi clutched his arm to his side and grimaced with pain. “You really need to restrain your temper, Sakura. Kuso, that hurt.”

“Lie back, Kakashi, and let me look at it.” She gingerly ran her hands over his arm, and winced as she felt the damage she’d done. “I’ll need to set it. Are you ready? On the count of five.” She positioned her hands at either side of the break, and counted slowly. “One…two…three—“

”A! Shit, Sakura! You said ‘five,’ not ‘three’!”

Sakura smiled apologetically. Setting a bone was never a pretty business. She was surprised though, that her simple tactic had worked on him. “That should be the worst of it, pain-wise. Luckily, it was a clean break. It won’t take much to mend it.” She infused her cool, healing chakra into Kakashi’s arm, and noticed his expression change immediately, as the pain ebbed in intensity. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Kakashi.”

He had never seen her look so sheepish before. ”I guess I’m lucky you put so little chakra into it. I might be missing my arm altogether, otherwise. I think it would be hard to explain to Tsunade that my lover inadvertently ended my career.”

”Tsunade! I hadn’t thought of her. What do you think she’ll say when she finds out about us?”

It was Kakashi’s turn to look sheepish. “Actually, she already knows. I told her how I felt about you before we left on this vacation.”

”You did?” Sakura’s voice raised. “Before you told me?”

“Easy, now. I can’t afford any more broken bones. In fact, I’m wondering about the advisability of letting you near any of my appendages.”

She rolled her eyes. “Hentai. Is sex all you ever think about?”

”Around you, yes. Around you when you’re naked, most definitely yes-- 100 percent of the time. In general, though, it’s more like 80, 90 percent of the time. Not when I’m actually fighting, of course.”

Sakura barely heard him. “So what did she say?” Sakura imagined the look on Tsunade’s face upon hearing the news.

“Actually, she guessed. She threatened me, of course, but what else would you expect from her? You’re like a daughter to her.”

“She wasn’t angry?”

“No, just surprised. I don’t think she thought I was capable of that kind of feeling, given the image I’ve worked so hard to establish and maintain.”